


For the Child

by KrimsonMistress



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Alternate Universe, Childhood Friends, Drama, Drama & Romance, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gallifrey, Pregnancy, Romantic Friendship, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-07-10
Packaged: 2019-05-23 05:30:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 21,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14928026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KrimsonMistress/pseuds/KrimsonMistress
Summary: Missy passed her test and is now travelling with the Doctor, Bill and Nardole. But one little incident changes everything.





	1. Pink Slime

“Hello new planet!“, Missy shouted while jumping out of the TARDIS, her boots stomping into extraterrestrial mud. It was blue and slimy and immediately splashed onto her skirt and the persons behind her.

“Be a bit more careful, wouldn’t you?!”, Nardole complained while scratching the blue mud from his pants.

“Darling, the whole planet is covered in slime.” Missy took a few steps. They all made an uncomfortable sound like a snail getting squished. “Oh, this is nice! We could do a mud fight for the boys.” Missy winked at Bill.

“Thanks… but no thanks.” The young black woman looked at the Doctor. “What is this stuff?”

The Doctor, who had been running his hand through the blue mud, looked up at her. “Interesting question! Excellent question!” He stood up again. “I have no idea.”

“Oh you silly boy, always fell asleep in class.” Missy rolled her eyes. “It’s highly intelligent melted ectoplasmatic… snow.” Missy run a hand through the slime and then threw the result at the Doctor. “Snowball fight!”

Of course it wasn’t a ball, the melted slime wasn’t able to be a ball. But the thrown mud hit the Doctor right in the face, slowly running down his cheek.

“Are you completely mad now?!”, Nardole yelled.

“I’m bananas!” Missy giggled until a handful of slime hit her right in the face.

“Gotcha!”, the Doctor laughed at her surprised face.

“Oh you…!” Seconds later Missy and the Doctor were fighting each other, both already covered in blue slimy mud from head to toe.

“Is it just me or is the Doctor… I don’t know… much more relaxed since she’s with us?”, Bill asked Nardole while ducking from a slime-throw.

“Relaxed.” Nardole huffed. “She just makes him do idiotic things.”

“But look at him. He’s smiling.”

Nardole sighed loudly. “Yes… and he hasn’t looked that happy in ages, alright, alright. But still…”

“Just let them have some fun. They’ve both been trapped on earth for to long I think.” Bill smiled a little. “And I’m actually starting to like her somehow.”

“You’re just as insane as the two of them.”, Nardole grumbled.

“Maybe I am.” And with those words Bill took a handful of mud and threw it into Nardole’s face. He took a disgusted breath.

“That…!” But before Nardole could say anything the mud suddenly started to glow. It switched between blue and green like a pulse.

“What is happening?”, Bill asked, looking at the Doctor and Missy.

Missy was laying in the mud and it slowly wrapped itself around her body. The Doctor wanted to free her, but she lifted her hand. “Stop.”

“But it’s… doing things with you.”, the Doctor complained.

“I know. But it doesn’t want to hurt me.”

“Wait… that snow is alive, and we’ve been throwing it around all the time?!” The Doctor crossed his arms.

“Oh shut up, it likes attention.” Missy rolled her eyes.

“Doctor!”, Bill yelled suddenly when the snow wrapped itself around her as well.

“Be still!”, Missy sighed. “It is like… a gynaecologist.”

“A what?!” Bill gave her an unbelieving look. “Is it going to be…?” She looked down.

“Oh hell no. That would be gross. No, it’s just tracking female lifeforms and then gives them a free health check. You’re welcome.”

“Is that why you wanted to come here?” The Doctor lifted an eyebrow.

“Hey, health checks are important. Oh look. You’re already done.” She smiled at Bill who got released from the slimy touch again.

“And what now? Do I get a certificate or something?”

“No dear, you’re healthy and fine. It only gives you a message if you…” Missy gulped when the snow around her suddenly turned pink.

“What is happening? What does that mean?”, the Doctor asked.

“Well, if something… in your body… different colours for different…” Missy took a deep breath. None of them had seen her like this before.

“Do you know what it means?! What is wrong with you?” The Doctor sounded concerned now.

“I’m okay honey, nothing to worry about.” Missy freed herself from the slime and got up again.

“But it changed colours.”, Bill said.

“Right…” Missy wiped the snow off her skirt.

“Missy.” The Doctor took her hand. “Tell me.”

“It’s nothing. Really. Just…”

“Oh look what I found.” Nardole pointed at a sign that was standing near them. It was a chart that showed different colours with explanations behind them.

“Okay, time to go now!” Missy wanted to shove them back into the TARDIS, but the Doctor pinned her hands on her back and pushed her over to the sign, followed by Bill and Nardole.

“Oh here we have it.”, Nardole said, pointing at the chart. “Pink means…” His eyes widened, and he looked at Missy and the Doctor. “No… you didn’t…!”

The Doctor looked at the sign for himself and then back at Missy, seemingly in shock.

Bill also read the chart and took a sharp breath. “You’re pregnant?!”

Missy rolled her eyes. “Seems like it…”

“But how? When…?” Bill asked in confusion until she realised the obvious. “You two…?”

“Did you know it? Is that why we came here?”, The Doctor asked quietly.

“I didn’t _know_. I had a suspicion and I wanted to be sure.”

“Oh wonderful.” Nardole crossed his arms. “If you have to… get busy at least use protection!”

“Next time we will.”, Missy said with a smile. “Made from your skin.”

“So… are you a couple now?”, asked Bill.

“Yes.”, said Missy.

“No.”, said the Doctor.

“No?” She crossed her arms and pouted. “Mean.”

“We need to talk. Alone.” The Doctor grabbed Missy’s hand and pulled her back into the TARDIS. Of course, Bill and Nardole were following them. It wasn’t hard to overhear their loud conversation.

“Are you sure it’s mine?”, the Doctor asked.

“Really?” Missy placed her hands on her hips. “Yes, I _am_ sure. Because you are the only one I had in centuries!”

“But that was only one time…”

“Well, surprise, that’s enough!” Missy crossed her arms.

“Missy…” The Doctor ran a hand through his hair. “I… I don’t think I can… after…”

Missy’s mien changed within a second and she carefully took the Doctor’s hand. “We don’t have to keep it… It’s easy to…”

“No.” The Doctor looked at her. “Don’t kill it. I beg you.”

“I was thinking about giving it away to an orphanage, actually.”

The Doctor looked at her for a while. “You really have changed.”, he finally said.

She smiled a little. “I do my best.”

With a bit of hesitation, the Doctor grabbed her face with his hands and placed a short kiss on her lips. “You’re the mother, you decide what to do.”

“We’ll find a good place where it can grow up.” She closed her eyes. “That place isn’t with us. We’d be terrible parents… And besides… you know that we can’t…”

“Bullshit.”, Bill said. Both timelords turned around to face her. “My mother died when I was a baby and I would have done anything to grow up with her. It’s not important if you are afraid or don’t feel good enough. Children need their family.”

“Oh. What a lovely speech.” Missy winked. “But you see…” She took a few steps towards her. “I am still a mass murderer who’s wanted in pretty much every place of the universe. Doctor already lost more than one child and he’s very sensitive about that topic. We aren’t even a couple, we just got a bit too excited for once. Besides, we’re outlaws that travel the universe in a blue box. That’s no place for an innocent child. Also… it’s just impossible.”

Bill hesitated for a second. “Then stop being outlaws in a blue box.”

Now Missy and the Doctor were both looking at her and Bill shrugged. “At least until it’s grown up.”

“You… you don’t know anything about timelord pregnancy, do you?”, Missy asked, waving her arm in an explaining gesture. “It’s not as ridiculous as your human system though. Splashing half of your organs out with the child… what a dumb system.”

“So how does it work?”

“A timelord can only be born in the vortex.”, the Doctor answered. “But it’s taking him much longer to be born than a human.”

“Or her.”, Missy threw in.

“Or her.” The Doctor nodded.

“And?” Bill looked at them, shrugging.

“Well, the vortex to give birth is on Gallifrey.”, the Doctor sighed.

“And if they find out that the Doctor and me are having a child…” Missy shook her head. “They won’t allow her to be born.”

“Or him.”, the Doctor said.

“Or him.”, Missy agreed.

“But… they can’t do that!” Bill looked back and forth between them.

“They can.”, the Doctor said.

“And they will.” Missy looked down on her Victorian boots. “Giving birth takes about six human months. It’s impossible to hide it from them.”

“Isn’t there another vortex on another planet… anything…?”, Bill asked quietly.

Missy took a step forward and placed one hand on her cheek. “This affection… it’s wonderful.”

Bill blinked. “Excuse me?”

“You really care about us.” A single tear dripped down the timelady’s cheek.

“Hormones.” The Doctor pulled Missy away.

“What?” Missy looked at him. “ _You_ wanted me to be more empathic and now you’re blaming my hormones?!”

The Doctor sighed. “Let’s just go back to the university and take a thinking break.” He walked over to the control panel and started the TARDIS.

“Yeah sure, just ignore me…”, Missy muttered barely audible, but Bill could hear it.

“He is just unable to cope for now.”, she said, giving Missy a reassuring smile.

“It’s not like I am.” Missy let herself fall on her favourite spot, where a pile of books was waiting to be read.

“Are you okay?”, Bill asked carefully.

“No but thank you.” Missy smiled and grabbed a book, not reacting to anyone anymore.

 

“You should be with her now!”, Bill insisted.

“I can’t believe you… you did this with her!”, Nardole complained.

Both were talking to the Doctor, who was sitting at his desk in the office. Missy stayed in the TARDIS. with her book. She did that often but never under such circumstances.

“Shut up!”, the Doctor finally yelled, stopping the flood of words hitting him. “I am searching for a solution of the problem and you aren’t helpful.”

“Problem?!” Bill pointed at the TARDIS. “She is pregnant!”

“Yes, I know!” The Doctor pinched his nose.

“Then your priority should be to care about her!”

“I do care about her!”

“I meant that literally.” Bill sighed and shook her head. “Go in there and talk to her.”

“I need to find a way how she can give birth!” The Doctor brushed over his face. “It’s my fault and I need to fix this.” He looked at Nardole. “Order some books. Everything about birth on Gallifrey. Hurry!”

Nardole shook his head but left the office.

“Doctor.” Bill sat down next to him. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”

He looked at her for a few moments. “I thought you knew about…”

“Doctor!” Bill shook her head. “Not that part.”

“Right.” The Doctor sighed. “After Missy’s test succeeded I gave her a room in the TARDIS. She’s tired of living in the vault all the time, so I gave her another place to be.” He cleared his throat. “Anyway, when I came in to look after her she just had showered and… still wasn’t wearing clothes.” He clenched his jaw.

“You’re so easy to get?”

“No. But she started flirting with me. And it’s Missy. She is… special. I didn’t intend to…” He shook his head.

“You don’t have to be ashamed. You’re a grownup.” Bill rested her hand on his shoulder.

“She played me. And that made me mad. So, I left. But now we both have to live with the consequences.”

“Well, maybe she didn’t play you.” Bill stood up and looked out of the window.

“She manipulated me into doing this.”

“How? With flirting?” Bill looked back at him. “That’s called love.”

The Doctor took a breath, ready to day something, but then his eyes widened. “You… you think she loves me?”

“Have you ever seen how she looks at you? That’s no manipulation. She just flirted with you and hoped for the best. At least that’s how I see it.”

“Excuse me.” The Doctor immediately entered the TARDIS. Missy wasn’t sitting in her reading spot anymore, so he went to her room. The hallway was filled with a melancholic piano melody and he could hear Missy sing.

“… _I light another candle, dry the tears from my face. Nothing protects me more than my mother’s warm embrace…_ ”

He carefully opened the door and entered the room. Missy was sitting at her smell piano, the second one, since her large one was still in the vault, and played a lullaby. Her face was wet with tears. Her fingers were trembling and her voice shaking, which made the melody a bit insecure.

“Missy…”

The piano made an unmelodic sound as her body twitched. “I… didn’t hear you come.” She said, hastily drying her face.

“I… think we need to talk.” The Doctor sat down next to her.

“Well… we already did.” Missy looked at her black fingernails. “Any ideas about the birth problem?”

“Nardole orders some books. I’m not… that familiar with the topic.”

“At least you already had kids.”

“Not myself. And we could just go to the vortex.”

Missy nodded. “The Doctor and the Mistress. I think our child should be called Dogdress.”

“Please… be serious.” The Doctor took her hand.

“Serious…” Missy looked at their now entwined fingers. “We have about three years left to find a solution. Otherwise…”

“Otherwise you’ll have to kill it.”

“Otherwise I’ll die.” She looked in his eyes and he knew that she was serious. There was motherlove in her gaze.

“I won’t let that happen. I’ll find a solution. I promise.” The Doctor pulled her into a hug. It took a few seconds before Missy returned it, her body’s weight leaning against him now. He could feel her shaking fingers burying themselves in his coat. She was scared.

“It’s going to end well. I promise.”, he said quietly.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” Her voice was a mixture of smiling and crying.

“I will keep it.” The Doctor moved back to look into her eyes. They were wet from all the tears. “I swear, I will do anything.”

“Kiss me.”

There was moment of silence. The Doctor hadn’t expected this answer. Missy just nodded and moved away from him again.

“I’d prefer to be alone now.”, she said while standing up from the piano bench.

“Missy…”

“Please go.” She let herself fall on the bed. “My _hormones_ are acting up.”

The Doctor stood up, but he didn’t leave. He just laid down next to Missy and pulled her in a warm embrace. She didn’t protest. In contrary, she rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes.

“I never wanted to hurt you.”, he said quietly.

“You didn’t.”

“That’s a lie.”

Missy let out a quiet laugh. “I’m a big girl. I can handle.”

“I just want you to know that you did good. With changing. With everything. And I’m glad to have my friend back.”

Missy looked up at him with a light smile on her face. “Me too.”


	2. Birth on Gallifrey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Books, Tea and Mickey Mouse.

“Nothing, nothing, nothing!” The Doctor threw the book he had been reading against the wall.

“Careful!”, Nardole nagged while ducking from the next one.

“These are all useless!” He threw another book and it hit Bill on the head, who had just entered the office.

“Ow!”, she shouted, rubbing the mark on her forehead. “What was that for?”

“No book, not one shows a way to give birth outside of Gallifrey!”

“Could have told you that.” Missy stepped out of the TARDIS. She looked different than usual. Tired with dark circles around the eyes, only wearing a Mickey Mouse nightshirt, her hair opened and partly covering her unadorned face.

“You look horrible.”, Bill said in shock.

“Thank you.” Missy sat down on the nearest chair and tugged up her feet.

“Nardole, bring Missy a cup of tea.”, the Doctor said.

“I’m not your butler!”

“Just do it!” The Doctor yelled angrily and Nardole decided that now wasn’t the time to disagree.

“Can’t you sleep?”, Bill asked carefully.

Missy sighed. “I could live with the nightmares about my evil deeds… but I can’t live with the nightmares of my child dying.”

Bill and the Doctor decided to hug Missy at the same time, so she ended up stuck between them.

“Oh my god.” She rolled her eyes. “Give me some personal space, will you?”

Bill let her go and picked up the book that hit her in the face. She couldn’t read the title, because it was written in circular Gallifreyan, but she opened it nevertheless and scrolled through the pages.

“Is this how birth works with you?”, she asked, pointing at a picture.

 

 

“Yes.” Missy nodded and stood up, leaving the Doctor alone on the chair. “The first timelord was born out of the vortex itself. One day he rose out of the depths of time. Then he travelled the universe to find his true love and they had a child. He built our birthplace for her because the vortex is dangerous. Like I said, giving birth takes about six months and floating in the vortex for that amount of time without protection…” She shook her head. “It would drive everyone insane. And the vortex and I haven’t got the best history… Anyways, that’s our origin story. Kinda.”

“How? I mean… how?”

“Do you know how the first human was born?”

“Well… either from apes or a pig’s ridge if you believe church.”

“Doesn’t sound better than _the vortex_ , does it?” Missy tilted her head.

“Probably not…” Bill looked back at the pictures. “So, you can’t give birth in another vortex because this is the only safe place?”

“Pretty much, yeah. I’d either go completely insane… which isn’t such a stretch to be honest.” She shook her head. “But I’d most likely die.”

“That’s… not good.”

“Depends on the point of view.” Missy shrugged. “Half of the universe would cheer if I died.”

“Including me.”, said Nardole, who entered the room with a cup of tea in hands.

“I’ll pass you enough money to buy a cheerleader outfit.” Missy winked and took the cup from him.

“Wonderful.” Nardole picked up the books from the floor and put them back on the table while Missy sat down on the chair again, on the Doctor’s lap.

“Are those really all books you could find?”, the Doctor asked him, obviously deep in thoughts, otherwise he would have noticed Missy.

“All books about timelord pregnancy ever written.” Nardole nodded.

“Okay. New plan. Order all books about the vortex.”

“As you wish.” Nardole left the office again.

“You’re really eager.” Missy smiled and gave the Doctor a kiss on the cheek. He blinked and looked at her, finally noticing that she was sitting on him.

“Missy… do you like the tea?”

She took a sip. “Bit vapid. And burning hot.”

“Good, good.” He obviously didn’t even listen to her, what made her roll her eyes.

“Men. He should regenerate into a woman as soon as possible.” Missy stood up again.

Bill looked at the Doctor. “Can’t imagine that.”

“Oh, he had some phases you wouldn’t want to imagine, trust me. His taste in fashion is… debatable.”

“I can hear you.”, the Doctor said, his head already buried in a book again.

“Of course, you can hear me now.” She rolled her eyes. “Hey Doctor, remember that time when you thought you were the Riddler?”

The Doctor rolled his eyes. “Question marks are fashionable.”

“No. No, they are not.” Missy looked at Bill. “He had an umbrella with a question mark handle. Can’t say anything about that, umbrellas are cool. But he also was wearing a question mark slipover.”

“Really?” Bill looked at the Doctor. He just rolled his eyes again.

“But that wasn’t even the worst. I’ll spare you with the details, just be sure that I always was the one with a sense of fashion.” Missy winked.

“Yeah, you really rocked that corpse-look.”, the Doctor said without looking up.

Missy huffed. “Touché.”

Nardole opened the door again. “I’ve ordered…”

“Ouch!”, Missy yelled at him. She had been standing right behind the door and it hit her into the back and the hot tea spilled all over her nightshirt.

“…the books.”, Nardole finished the sentence very unimpressed.

Missy put the cup into his hands. “Do the dishes, Humpty Dumpty.” And with these words she shoved the protesting Nardole out of the room again.

“Are you hurt?”, Bill asked.

“Emotionally.” Missy looked down at her soaked nightshirt. “Great.”

“You should put it off.”, the Doctor said.

“What, really? I thought that’s today’s fashion. Soaked in burning hot tea with Mickey Mouse.” Missy crossed her arms.

“Did you burn yourself? Let me have a look.” The Doctor stood up.

“Wait…!” Missy wanted to protest, but he pulled up her shirt… and pushed it down again immediately.

“Why aren’t you wearing underwear?”, he asked.

“Because bras are evil.”

“Agreed.”, Bill said.

“See? She understands me.  Hooray for sisterhood.” She held up her hand for a high five and Bill hit it.

“But you can have a look nevertheless.” Missy winked.

The Doctor rolled his eyes. “Go change.”

Missy saluted and vanished in the TARDIS again.

“I think she needs some distraction.” Bill put the book she was holding on the table to the others.

“I have no time.” The Doctor looked at her. “I already told you that I do care.”

“I know.” Bill nodded. “Hey, how about I take her out. Shopping, ladies’ night, just take her mind of things for a while.”

“If you promise me to keep her from robbing a shop.”

“Deal.”

“Take this.” The Doctor gave Bill a wallet from the drawer of his desk. “And buy her something nice. But no knives.”

Bill investigated the wallet. “That’s… about £1000.”, she gasped.

“Yeah, you can have something nice too. But no knives for you either!”

“Doctor… that’s way too much.”

The Doctor shook his head. “Buy clothes, buy food, go to the movies, whatever. Just promise me to make her happy.”

Bill smiled a little. “Why don’t you tell her?”

“Tell her what?”

“That you love her too.”

“Because…” The Doctor raised his hand and pointed at her with his finger. “Just mind your own business.”

“Alright.” Bill lifted her hands in defeat. “I’ll go in and tell her that she’ll have to put on a bra.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really like to think of a way how a timelord is born. In The Missy Chronicles Missy said that she finds the human system ridiculous, so it has to be something entirely different. I made a little edit because I was bored, but I'm no master at this, so the picture looks quite crappy. xD  
> Also, I love the thought of Missy wearing Disney clothes (or other fandoms) since she had lots of time in the vault to become a fangirl. xD  
> The Missy Chronicles also mention that she and the Doctor watched Frozen together and I think that's the cutest thing ever. I bet they watched other Disney movies too, or stuff like Harry Potter.   
> Anyways, I hope you still like the story and thank you all SO MUCH for the kind comments, I actually had to cry. (I'm a bit emotional when it's about writing xD)  
> ♥Lots of Love, Lucy


	3. Shopping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Missy and Bill go to town. But Missy does her own thing.

Missy was standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom and covered the dark circles around her eyes with makeup when Bill entered. She had put off the wet Mickey Mouse nightshirt and changed it for a Slytherin pyjama.

“You alright?”, Bill asked, leaning her shoulder at the doorframe to the bathroom.

“Do you really think some tea could hurt me?” Missy turned around. “What do you want?”

“How about a shopping trip? Just the two of us… going to town…” Bill shrugged. “Without annoying boys.”

Missy blinked. “Shopping?”

“Or something else. You decide.”

Missy turned back to the mirror. “Shopping sounds just fine. I want some nice things. And a pony.”

“A… pony?”

“I like ponies.”

“Yeah but… I was more thinking about clothes or something.”

“Then I want a T-shirt with a pony on it.” Missy continued doing her makeup.

“I think that’s a bit more realistic.” Bill entered the room and sat down on the edge of the bath tub, watching her.

“What?” Missy asked without looking at her.

“Just waiting till you’re finished.” Bill hesitated for a moment. “So… you and the Doctor…”

“Afraid he might like me more than he likes you?” Missy smirked.

“I know that he does. And that’s okay.” Bill smiled at her.

Missy sighed. “He signed a contract to watch over my body for the next thousand years. We still have 859 years to go. While the contract still runs he can’t leave me. That’s all. No big love story, no happy end.”

“I don’t think that contract includes sex.” Bill shrugged.

Missy closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “No. It doesn’t.”

“So…?”

“So what? You don’t know the Doctor like I do. That has absolutely no meaning. Trust me on that.” She aggressively closed her lipliner. “And it hasn’t for me either. You’re interpreting things that just aren’t true.”

“If you say so.” Bill stood up again and ran a hand though Missy’s hair.

She closed her eyes in annoyance and said in a darker tuned voice: “Hand’s off.”

“Sorry. I’ve always wanted to touch your hair.” Bill smiled guiltily. “It’s so pretty.”

Missy’s mien softened again. “Well, yours is… explosive. And I like explosions.”

“Thanks for the compliment.” Bill chuckled.

 

After Missy finished dressing up in her usual Victorian attire Bill and she went to the city. Missy obviously wasn’t used to just walk around for a shopping trip and was causing a lot of attention while dancing with a street lamp on the way. Bill didn’t know if she should be annoyed or amused.

“Oh hello, Mister!”, Missy said to a statue of a naked Roman. “Aren’t you a bit cold?”

“That’s… a statue.” Bill sighed.

“Oh, he hasn’t told you, has he?” Missy looked at her with a smirk. “There are statues that aren’t like the others. And they are extremely dangerous. Unless…” She smacked the Roman’s leg. “…they’re in plain view.”

“So that thing is… an alien?” Bill investigated the Roman’s stony face.

“No, that’s just a statue. It’s the angels you have to watch.” And Missy danced along the street without saying another word, quietly humming the toreador march.

Bill tried to catch up and almost bumped into her when she suddenly stopped walking.

“What is it?”, she asked.

“You wait here. I’m back in a second.”, Missy said, her voice suddenly serious. She grabbed the wallet from Bill’s pocket and left her alone, vanishing faster in the crowd then Bill would have been able to catch up. A bit helplessly she stayed right where she was.

Missy returned after about ten minutes. She was holding a thermos jug and a huge bag. Then she started pouring hot tea into plastic mugs and giving them to beggars, along with some food packets out of her bag. Bill hadn’t been expecting that.

It didn’t take long, and the beggars called all their friends. Missy didn’t seem to bother, no, she spread a huge blanket in the park and picnicked with them. Still not knowing what to say or think, Bill sat down next to her. Missy also gave her a cup of tea.

“Thank you so much, miss.”, a little boy said shyly, as Missy gave him some tea. He looked ill and was way too thin for his age.

“What’s your name?”, she asked.

“Thomas.” He coughed.

“Well, Thomas, I’ve got something special for you.” Missy winked and gave him a bar of chocolate. The little boy’s eyes started to sparkle.

“Why are you doing this?”, an older man asked. He obviously had been through a lot and didn’t trust easy.

“I’m trying to be a good person.” Missy smiled. “That’s all.”

“You remind me of my mommy.”, Thomas said with some tears in his eyes.

“His parents died last year.”, a younger woman said quietly, wrapping an arm around the boy’s shoulders.

“Come here.” Missy opened her arms, smiling gently. The moment she pulled Thomas in a tight embrace was the moment when Bill knew that she would be a great mother.

“I’m leaving you in charge. Make sure that everyone gets something.” Missy stood up, the boy still in her arms.

“Where are you going?”, Bill asked.

“I’m bringing Thomas to the doctor… not _the_ Doctor, _a_ doctor… you know what I mean.” She waved with one hand while carrying the boy away.

“God bless her.”, the younger woman from before said and all the others nodded in agreement.

 

It took a long time until Missy came back. In the meantime, Bill made friends with almost all the homeless. She bought more tea and some cake as a dessert, listened to their stories and told her own.

When Missy finally came back she clapped her hands loudly. “Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s time for phase two!”

“Phase two?”, a middle-aged woman named Tiffany asked.

“Those clothes you’re wearing.” Missy shook her head. “No. Definite no. We’re going shopping!”

“Miss, you’ve already done way too much.”, an old man named Frank said, shaking his head.

“It’s Missy.” She winked. “And it’s my generous day. So, move those fleshy bone-sacks and follow me to the store!” She lifted Thomas on her shoulder who was already wearing new clothes, a Winnie the Pooh sweatshirt with blue jeans and sneakers that glowed with every step.

 

The shopkeeper looked like he was about to have a heart attack when Missy entered the store with about twenty dirty beggars. She was dancing to the loud pop music that played through the speakers while without further ado transforming the changing cubicles into a catwalk.

Bill sat down in one of the armchairs and applauded every time one of the homeless presented their new outfit. Missy herself bought a T-shirt with a pony on it, like she had told her, and was wearing it with a plaid red skirt and her Victorian boots.

“We don’t really have much money left.”, Bill said after every outfit was paid.

“It’s a shame I only have space credits…”, Missy sighed.

“Space credits?”, Thomas asked. He hadn’t left her side for the whole day.

“Yeah, but that money is useless on earth.” Missy smiled at him.

“So, you’re not from earth?”

Missy put a finger to her lips. “Secret.”

“Are you… a good fairy? Or a guardian angel?” Thomas’ eyes sparkled.

Missy shook her head. “No. I’m just Missy.”

 

It was the most affectionate goodbye Bill had ever seen. Everyone of the homeless thanked Missy, hugged her, blessed her, wished her the best. She was visibly overstrained with that.

“Please take me with you.”, Thomas begged.

“I…” Missy closed her eyes and took a deep breath, then she smiled at him again. “Sure. I’m gonna show you something magical.” She lifted him up again.

“How do you want to explain that to the Doctor?”, Bill asked.

“Nothing easier than that.” Missy smirked. She was awkwardly quiet on the way back to the college. Thomas had fallen asleep in her arms, so she probably didn’t want to wake him up.

Back in the Doctor’s office she carefully laid him down on his comfortable armchair. The Doctor stood up from his desk, looked at Missy, then at the boy, then back at Missy.

“I thought I was clear when I said that _shopping_ only involves non-living creatures.”

“I didn’t _buy_ him. He wanted to come with me.”

“Missy, please don’t go out and adopt children.” The Doctor brushed his hand over his face.

“He’s dying.”

Bill and the Doctor both looked at her in shock. Missy took a deep breath and brushed a wisp of hair out of the sleeping boys face.

“I went to the doctor with him. And he diagnosed COPD. It’s too late to treat it…” Missy shook her head. “At least on this planet.”

“So, you want to bring him to a place where he can be healed?”, the Doctor asked quietly.

“Yes. He is so young and has so much potential. I… I just need to make sure that it isn’t wasted.”

Without saying any other word, the Doctor pulled Missy into a tight hug. She returned it, leaning her head against his shoulder.

“I’m so proud of you.”, he whispered.

Missy sobbed quietly, as the tears started pouring down her face. Her fingers buried themselves in the Doctor’s jacket as her grip tightened, not wanting to let him go yet. She didn’t care that Bill could see her weakness now.

“You’ve got an… interesting outfit.”, the Doctor finally said.

Within a second Missy was back to normal and posed for him. “It is a pony!”

“Can see that.” The Doctor nodded.

“Are you in your horse-phase now?”, Nardole asked. He just had entered the room, eying her sceptically.

“Well, I don’t get a pony, so I got myself one!” Missy crossed her arms and pouted.

“Do you even know how much work it is to keep a pony?” Nardole rolled his eyes. “Why don’t you try another pet? Like a hamster. Or a goldfish.”

“I have a pet in the vault. Two, to be exact. Willy and Flipper.”

“A whale and a dolphin?”, Bill asked disbelievingly.

“They’re actually spiders.”, Missy muttered. “But they hate each other. They always spin their webs in different locations. I think Flipper hurt Willy’s feelings once.”

“Alright…” Nardole shook his head, then he noticed the still sleeping boy. “Who’s that?”

“Thomas.” Missy shrugged.

“Okay.” Nardole waited a few seconds before he shouted at her. “Are you completely out of your mind?!”

“Nardole…” The Doctor tried to calm him down but through his screaming the boy awoke and looked at them with sleepy eyes.

“Good morning.”, he said politely.

“Good morning, little one.”, the Doctor said with a smile. “I am the Doctor.”

“Another doctor?”, Thomas asked and looked at Missy with some fear in his eyes.

“He isn’t a… doctor. I mean, like doctors that treat your sickness. He is a special Doctor.”

“The original, you might say.”, the Doctor added.

“Can you cure me?”, Thomas asked carefully.

“No. But I know people who can.” The Doctor took his hand to help him up. “Are you ready to see a world beyond everything you’ve ever imagined?”

“Yes.” Thomas nodded eagerly.

“Then be ready for some magic.” Missy winked, leaning against the TARDIS. “Do you know what this is?”

“A police box?”

“Correct!” Missy opened the door. “But also, wrong.”

“Come on. Go inside.” The Doctor smiled encouraging and Thomas stepped into the TARDIS.

“Wow…”, he said, looking around. “Is this a real spaceship?”

“Time and relative dimension in space.” The Doctor said and closed the door behind them.

“But he calls it TARDIS.”, Missy said, leaning against the control panel.

“And it can travel to other planets?” Thomas got tiptoe to look at the control panel.

“Other planets, other solar systems, other times. Everything you could ever imagine.” The Doctor smiled and started the TARDIS. “Next stop, the best hospital in the universe!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think that Missy gets very emotional about children now and that she also gets very emotional about the Doctor praising her for things she's done right.   
> I hope you liked the idea and I'll hopefully see you in the next chapter. :D  
> ♥Lots of Love, Lucy


	4. Thomas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas is going to an Alien hospital... and other places.

Thomas wasn’t anxious as they walked through the hospital hallway but curious. In here, people from all planets came together. There were Sontarans hurt in battlefield, Festulations who broke their claws, Hederas that dried out, Zygons that were stuck between two forms and many, many more.

The Doctor was holding his hand as he guided him to the reception. Missy had stayed in the TARDIS. She hadn’t said why but Thomas felt that she was afraid and decided not to ask.

“Put a waiting number.”, the receptionist said in a monotone voice when they arrived there. She was a Ranfo and Thomas found himself staring at her frog-like appearance until he realised how impolite he behaved. Ashamed and with pink cheeks he looked away.

The Doctor put the number and raised an eyebrow. “How long will we have to wait with number 353217?”

The receptionist looked at him for a second. “Six years.”

“Alight.” The Doctor took a deep breath, then he kneeled to Thomas. “I’m going to do some cheating now, but don’t forget that cheating is evil, okay?”

Thomas nodded, eager to see more of this wonderful new world he’d been presented.

The Doctor guided him back to the TARDIS where Missy was walking in circles. She stopped when they entered and looked at them.

“And?”

“We’ll have to wait for six years. I don’t want to wait for six years.”

Missy’s lips formed a smirk. “You never were good at waiting.” She activated the TARDIS, skipping the six years within a second.

“What can I say? I’m impatient.” The Doctor shrugged and took Thomas’ hand again. “Come on, let’s get to our appointment.”

“Did we just… travel in time?”, Thomas asked, trying to sound not too excited.

The Doctor smiled. “Yes.”

They left the TARDIS again and only had to wait for ten more minutes until it was their turn. While Thomas behaved and sat down patiently, the Doctor walked around in circles. He was bored easily.

Finally, the receptionist called out their number and the Doctor guided him into the parlour. In there was a brain in a jar with long tentacles. One of the tentacles wrapped itself around Thomas’ body. It wasn’t slimy like you’d expect from a tentacle, but warm and pulsating.

“Can you cure the boy?”, the Doctor asked.

Instead of an answer the tentacle moved up to Thomas’ neck and suddenly he felt a sharp pain when it stung into him. It was like a volcano exploded in his inside, lava was floating through his veins and steam fuming out of his nose and mouth. But it wasn’t steam, he noticed. It was particles that had been stuck in his throat. And finally, for the first time in ages, he could breathe properly again.

“Thank you.”, the Doctor said.

“Thank you.”, Thomas repeated. He had the feeling that the Doctor was able to communicate with the tentacle brain. It moved back, and the lava vanished from his bloodstream.

“You’re cured now.”, the Doctor smiled at him. “Let’s buy some ice-cream.”

 

The Doctor, Missy and Thomas were sitting in a café on a foreign planet. Missy had sworn that this was the place with the best ice-cream in the universe. She didn’t mention that she hijacked it in a former incarnation and killed all the people inside the get the ice-cream for herself though.

Thomas looked out of the window. This planet had three moons and the sky was mostly purple, showing the stars in a new light like in the books about space. The national people weren’t that different from humans, but they had big black eyes and tails.

“What is this planet called?”, he asked curiously while they were waiting for their order.

“Rātrī Prakāśa.”, Missy answered. Thomas decided that he wouldn’t keep this name and just nodded.

The waitress brought them three large sundaes. The ice-cream was glowing and sparkling in different colours and the cream was covered in little rainbow-cookies.

“Wow.” Thomas just couldn’t hold back his awe at this sight.

“Eat up.” Missy ruffled his hair with a smile. “It’s all yours.”

Despite her being a lady, she absolutely ate like a man. Her ice-cream was gone in no time and she liked her lips, looking at the Doctor’s sundae. He rolled his eyes, put some of the ice-cream on his spoon and held it over the table so Missy could eat it. She sucked on his spoon for way longer than necessary before relieving it from her mouth again.

“We need to find a nice place for you now.” The Doctor smiled at Thomas.

“Can’t I stay with you?” He didn’t want to leave Missy, the Doctor or this whole new world that opened for him today.

“Trust me, I’d be very, very happy if you stayed.” Missy took his hand, her eyes sad and heavy. “But it’s not possible. You deserve to grow up in a family and become a wonderful handsome man.”

“But you can be my family. You could be my Mommy and Daddy.”, Thomas begged.

Missy lowered her head and the little boy noticed in shock that he was crying. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to make you sad.”, he said quietly.

“It’s not your fault.” She pulled him into a tight hug. “I love you, Thomas.”, she whispered. “And that’s why I have to let you go.”

“I don’t want to go.”, he whispered back.

“I’ll visit you one day. I promise.”, she run her hand through his hair. “But I know how the human brain works. Sooner or later you’ll think that all of this was just a dream.”

“Never.” Thomas shook his head.

The Doctor cleared his throat. “I know a place where you could go. An old friend who can’t have children of her own but desperately wants one. Do you want to make her happy?” He smiled at the young boy.

“I…” Thomas looked back at Missy who nodded in tears. “Okay.” He looked back at the Doctor. “Thank you so much for saving me.”

“You’re welcome.” The Doctor smiled and ruffled through his hair. “So, since we’re on our way to say goodbye… make a wish.”

“A wish?”, Thomas asked curiously.

“We will make one extra stop before it’s back to earth. Where do you want to go?”

 

The Doctor and Missy where racing over the moon with their carts. Thomas sat next to Missy and screamed in joy. The dust was steaming around them as they rushed through the low gravity.

“I’m going to blow you off the moon!”, Missy yelled as the Doctor started to outpace them and accelerated her own cart to maximum. The ride was bumpy and possibly dangerous, but it made them pass the Doctor and cross the finish line first.

Missy braked so hard that the tires were squealing, jumped on top of the car and yelled: “We won! Loser! Loser! Wheeee!”

“You were driving careless!”, the Doctor yelled back. “You can’t drive like that with a child next to you!”

“I can, and I will again. Because. I. Beat. You!” Missy jumped down from the cart, leaving high-heeled footprints in the dust.

“Schadenfreude is not very lady-like.”, the Doctor mumbled, but he accepted his defeat.

“Schadenfreude.”, Missy repeated. “Schaaadennnfreeuudeee. Such a funny word.”

“Can we have another race?”, Thomas asked carefully.

“Okay, but only one more time.”, The Doctor sighed and pointed at Missy. “And you be careful.”

“Yes sir, Doctor, sir.” Missy saluted and climbed back into the cart. “You really have the best ideas.” She beamed at Thomas.

His wish had been clear: A cart race on the moon. Probably a little boy’s dream. But Missy was pleased as well.

They drove another race and of course Missy didn’t drive carefully at all and won yet again, lifting Thomas on her shoulders while doing a victory dance.

But then it was time to leave. The Doctor landed the TARDIS on earth, right in front of a normal English house with a wide garden.

“It looks nice.”, Thomas admitted quietly, still holding Missy’s hand.

“Give that to the lady of the house.” The Doctor handed Thomas a letter and then pulled him into a hug. “And be a good boy.”, he said quietly.

“I will.” Thomas felt tears in his eyes now and turned to Missy, who was crying as well.

“Here.”, she said with a very low voice, handing him a purple teddy bear. “Just hug him if you feel lonely and you’ll feel better.”

Thomas jumped into her arms and buried his face in her chest. “I’ll miss you.”, he said sobbing.

“I’ll miss you too.” Missy caressed his back with shaking hands. “Don’t let others break you down, okay? Be nice, but don’t let them use you. If they are mean, don’t accept it. Be strong and be great.”

Thomas nodded. “I promise.”

“Now go. Your new life is waiting.” Missy smiled in tears and Thomas kissed her cheek goodbye before walking through the gate and ringing the doorbell of his new home.

A red-haired woman opened the door for him and he gave her the letter from the Doctor. She took it and let him in. In into a comfortable house that would be his home for the next years before he would leave earth forever in a team of volunteers that wanted to explore space.

His mother-to-be sat down and read the letter, tears forming in her eyes without her even knowing why. She looked at the boy and smiled. She would give him a home and be the most important woman in his universe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just had to put in my favorite companion, given the opportunity. xD  
> I hope you liked it. x3  
> ♥Lots of Love, Lucy


	5. Queen Missy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Missy is sad and the Doctor tries to comfort her.

Missy was quiet for the rest of the day and vanished in the vault. She only went there when she was feeling bad and the Doctor could see why. He did leave her alone for a few hours to give her some space and then checked after her.

Missy was lying in her bed, body covered with a floral duvet. The only visible part of her body was her hair. It was open and single wisps were scattered over her five pillows. She couldn’t sleep well without soft backing.

“Missy?”, the Doctor asked carefully. He didn’t get a response. Carefully he sat down on the bed and run his hand through her hair. She didn’t brush it for a while and it was much longer than it used to be.

“Did I do good?”, she finally asked, barely audible and with a dull voice.

“Yes. You did fantastic.”

“I want this child, Doctor.” Missy sobbed quietly.

This response did surprise him. “I told you that I will find a solution.”

“And then you will run away. Like you always do.” Missy sounded tired.

“Missy, you know that it’s the best for the child if it doesn’t grow up with us.”

“But why does it have to be?!” She turned around, looking at him with black mascara stripes on her cheeks. “I want to have a family with you.”

“Missy…” The Doctor shook his head. “That’s not a good idea.”

“Of course.” She nodded. “Maybe you should have thought about that before you fucked me.”

“You made me do it!”

“Oh sure, now it’s my fault! I didn’t force you, you know? You could have said no!” Missy screamed at him now. “Why is everything always my fault?! I did my mistakes, but I did my best to please you! I wanted to make you proud of me! I didn’t kill anyone in centuries and that is not just because of the vault! I tried to help you, I wanted my friend back!” She threw a pillow at him. “You’re the worst, do you know that?! I hate you! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you…!” Her voice turned quiet again and ended up in sobbing.

“Missy…” The Doctor wanted to stroke her hair again, but she moved away and hissed.

“Don’t touch me.”

“Okay.” He held up his hands in defence.

“You always say I’m the villain. But it’s you, not me.” Missy’s voice was almost gone. “Because you always think you’re right. Because you are the good guy. But no good guy would tell a woman to give her child away just because he can’t live with the responsibilities.”

The Doctor looked at her for a while, thinking. “You’re right.”, he finally said. “I’m scared.”

Missy looked at the blanket. “I’m scared too.”

“We both are a mess. That’s why I don’t think we should have a child with us. I’m not running away.”

“Is that really the truth?” She looked at him.

“Partly.”, the Doctor admitted.

“You told me to be honest. So be honest too.”

The Doctor nodded. “You’re right. I’ll be honest. I’m scared. I don’t want to lose a child again. I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to screw up as a father because I always did a very bad job there. I’m not able to have a family anymore.” He looked at her. “Now be honest too.”

“Oh, we’re playing that game again?” Missy sighed. In her time in the vault they always exchanged true statements so that she would get used to be honest. “Alright. I’m scared. I am responsible for this child and I won’t hurt it in any way. I’d rather die than kill it to survive. I want to have a family with you.”

“You already told me all of that. You know the game. Say something I don’t know yet.”

Missy shot him an angry glance. “You hurt me when you put that little bitch over me just because she had the right parts to give you children. Now I’m giving you one and you don’t want it. I’m always your second choice. You never admit that we have something special. And I hate you for it. You want me to be compassionate, but you’ve never been with me. I’m a matter of course to you. If you had chosen me back then, all the tiny little people would still be alive because I wouldn’t have sworn to end the universe in a jealous rage.”

The Doctor looked at her in shock. “You… can’t just end the universe because I…”

“Oh, can’t I?!” Missy got loud again. “You were everything I ever had, and you betrayed me! You left me!”

“I loved her.”

“And I love you! … There, I said it.” Missy crossed her arms and looked away again.

The Doctor run his hand through her hair again. “I love you too.”

She looked at him, hope shining in her eyes. “You do?”

“Of course, I do. Do you think I would do this for anyone?” He nodded at their surroundings.

“Doctor…” She moved closer, right into his arms.

“I’m sorry that I hurt you back then. I didn’t notice how you felt.” He caressed her back.

Missy looked up at him, her eyes wet again. “Stupid little Doctor.”

“Sorry.”, he repeated and kissed her forehead.

“Can you sleep in my bed tonight? I feel so alone.”, she asked quietly.

“When have you slept for the last time?”

“I don’t know. Before you made me pregnant.”

“Missy, that was about a month ago…” He shook his head.

“I know. But I can’t sleep. My thoughts are spinning in circles when I try. And then there are the nightmares…”

The Doctor kicked off his shoes and laid down on the bed, Missy still in his arms. “Try to sleep now. I’ll be watching over you.”

She pulled the duvet over them, hiding her face in his chest. He could feel her hearts beating, a bit faster than usual.

“Do I get a bedtime story?”, Missy asked quietly.

“If you want to.” The Doctor thought about it for a second. “The once was a woman named Missy–“

“Like it so far.”

“–and she was the queen of the land.”

“Even better!”

“I can’t tell the story if you’re talking.”

“Right, sorry.”

The Doctor cleared his throat. “Like I said, Missy was the queen of the land. Everyone feared her because she was cruel and had fun in being evil. Her castle was full of treasures that weren’t even hers and she played with them all day long. But there was something all the treasures and the fear of the people couldn’t give her: an heir.

So, Queen Missy logically decided to get married. But everyone in the kingdom was too afraid of her to say yes to a marriage. Queen Missy was very angry, but also sad. Even evil queens don’t like to be alone. So, she sent messengers to all the other kingdoms to invite their kings and princes. If one of them would marry her, she would be able to get an heir and get some extra property and wealth out of it. A perfect plan, she thought.

Now kings and princes from all the other kingdoms arrived and Queen Missy welcomed them with a huge ball, paid from the money of her poor people of course. Her tailor made her a spectacular dress for the occasion and she looked prettier than anyone else in the whole country.

She danced with all her possible future husbands, asking about their wealth to decide which one would give her the most profit.

The last king she danced with didn’t answer her question. Instead he said: “Queen Missy, they’re plotting to kill you. No matter which one you pick, you will die.”

“Why would they want to kill me?”, Queen Missy asked. She couldn’t see the amount of damage she had done.

“You’ve ruined the country with your selfishness. I can teach you how to be good and save your life. But if you refuse, you will die.”

Queen Missy didn’t want to, but the man’s talk worried her nevertheless. “Who are you?”, she asked.

“The only one you can trust.”, he said.

Queen Missy wasn’t impressed with that secretiveness. “You’re a stranger to me, like anyone else.”

“You only have forgotten about me. About the person you used to be.”

And when he smiled Queen Missy recognised her old childhood friend. The one she shared everything with, her only friend in the cruel cold world. She remembered the happy days, the time when she didn’t need treasures to make herself feel good.

“Take me with you and teach me to be good again.”, she whispered.

Her childhood friend helped her to escape from her plotted death and took her to his own home. He wasn’t a queen or wealthy and lived in a small hut by the river. It took Missy a while to adjust to this way of life since she always had servants doing the work for her back in the castle. But over time she found joy in the simple things. She learned to cook, to sew, to work. But most importantly: She learned to love again.

After learning about the poverty in the villages she had caused she felt sorry and she tried to help. Of course, none of the people recognised her. She never had left the castle, and no one would suspect the queen to wear working clothes. But soon they all liked her because she helped where she could, repaired broken roofs, planted vegetables and kept the children safe.

Her childhood friend was very proud of her and supported her in every way possible. They still lived together in the hut and after some time Missy got what she always wanted – an heir.

But the kingdom was still rotten because the king who took over Missy’s throne was as cruel as her. So, she decided to return to the castle and identify herself. She was still the rightful heir of the throne and the evil king had no choice but to leave and let Missy rule over the country again.

The new Queen Missy didn’t handle things like the old one though. She was fair and kind, made sure that every child could have an education, and no one needed to suffer from hunger anymore. Her own child grew up to be the next kind king, she married her childhood friend and they lived happily ever after.”

“Happily ever after…”, Missy repeated, her eyes heavy.

The Doctor kissed her forehead. “Goodnight my queen.”, he whispered.

“I’ll… be good…”, she mumbled, slowly drifting off to sleep.

“You are.”, the Doctor whispered and caressed her hair. She didn’t respond as she finally had fallen asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Missy loves fairy tales so I thought it would be lovely if the Doctor would tell her one. About herself, of course. xD  
> ♥Lots of Love, Lucy


	6. Rock 'n Roll

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Missy wants to go dancing.

Missy woke up because something – someone – was snoring right into her ear. She rolled her eyes but moved over and buried her head in the Doctor’s chest again. He grunted slightly on the impact, but the snoring didn’t stop.

“Thank you for letting me sleep well.”, she whispered quietly and closed her eyes again. The snoring didn’t really bother her. Contrariwise, it made her feel safe. It made her know that he was here.

After a while the snoring stopped, and he started to move, stretching his body as he woke up. Then he noticed Missy hanging on him.

“Good morning.”

“Good morning sunshine. The earth says hello!”, Missy hummed.

“You’re in a good mood today.” The Doctor smiled at her.

“I could sleep well… until you snored in my ear.” She pouted.

“Sorry.” He scratched his head in embarrassment.

Missy snorted, stood up and put off the pony shirt.

“What… are you doing?”, the Doctor asked.

“Changing!” Missy looked at him with a pouty face again. “My clothes are sweaty. Besides, I still prefer my normal clothes. This just isn’t fancy.” She threw the T-shirt in a corner. “And that is cheap.” She put off the skirt as well and threw it on the T-shirt. Now she only wore her undergarments.

“You really put a liking in Victorian fashion.” The Doctor stood up from the bed.

“And you put a liking in Rock ‘n Roll!” Her feet were tipping in dance moves with every word. “I could join you. Rockabilly style. I love the fifties. Or was it the sixties?” She presented her muscles. “Strong housewife!”

“So, you want to do housework? I’m glad to hear that.”

Missy pouted again. “Spoilsport.” She wrapped her arms around his neck. “I want to go dancing. Please.”

“Dancing?”, he asked.

“Yes. I was a good girl. Give me a treat. Go out with me. Dance with me.” Missy pecked his lips.

“Okay. I hope you can dance.”

Missy snorted. “This body already danced on stages.”

“Oh really?” The Doctor lifted an eyebrow.

“I have a life without you, you know?” She rolled her eyes.

“Alright. How about a trip to the fifties then?”

“ _[I'm a little lamb who's lost in the wood. I know I could always be good to one who'll watch over me.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDhF-PsDuCw)_ ”, Missy sang and spun around.

“I take that as a yes.” The Doctor chuckled. “You really put a liking in human music, did you?”

“They do have some decent songs, I agree.” Missy stopped. “I’m dizzy…”

“That’s your own fault. Now would you please get dressed?”

“I don’t have fitting attire in here, I need to go to the TARDIS.” Missy wanted to leave the vault, but the Doctor grabbed her arm.

“Please don’t run over campus in your undergarments.”

“It’s still more fabric than some girls here wear.”, Missy defended herself.

“But it’s still underwear. Here.” The Doctor put off his coat. “Put it on.”

Missy did as she was told but of course the coat was way to large for her. “Oh look, I’m Batman.”, she said, buffeting the sleeves. “Alfred, bring me the bat mobile!”

“I’m not Alfred, Missy.”

“Right… Eggman is Alfred. Then you are Batman. That makes me… Catwoman!”

“Please just go and change.” The Doctor rolled his eyes.

Missy saluted. “Yes, sir, Batman, sir.”

 

They walked to the Doctor’s office together. He was happy that no one was around yet because it was early in the morning. A woman only wearing his coat on campus… that would rise suspicion.

Missy took a deep breath. “Ah, I love morning air. So refreshing.” Her bare feet were tipping over the still wet grass.

“We could watch sunrise together tomorrow, if you want.”

“Yes. Let’s do camping on the rooftop!” Missy beamed at him. “With a campfire and marshmallows.”

“We can’t make a campfire on the rooftop.”

“Pity…”

They entered the building. Missy left wet footprints on the floor and her feet made little splashing sounds when she climbed up the stairs.

“Are you cold?”, the Doctor asked since it wasn’t the warmest of days.

“I’m good.” Missy smiled at him. “I’m gonna take a hot shower and get dressed.” She opened the door of the office and almost bumped it into Nardole’s face who had been waiting.

“Careful!”, he complained.

“Must I remind you of yesterday?”, Missy hissed back and entered the room.

“Why are you wearing the Doctor’s coat?” Nardole threw suspicious glances back and forth between them.

“Because the Doctor didn’t want me to walk over campus in my underwear.”, Missy said calmly and put off the coat again.

“Doctor!”, Nardole yelled and the timelord who held up his hands in defence.

“It’s not what it looks like.”

“Yeah, everyone says that…”, Nardole muttered.

“I’m going to take a shower now.”, Missy said and caressed the Doctor’s cheek. “Do you want to join?”

“I’ll pass.” He moved back a step and Missy chuckled.

“Alright. I’m looking forward to our trip.” She blew him a kiss and vanished in the TARDIS.

“Not what it looks like.”, the Doctor repeated, though he knew that it looked bad for him.

“Sir, it’s none of my business. I guess more damage can’t be done, since she is already pregnant.” Nardole sighed. “I know this wasn’t a good idea. She should have stayed in the vault.”

“She did good. You’ve seen her, she saved a little boy’s life!”

“And how many little boys did she kill?” Nardole shook his head.

“She is making progress, she is regretting what she has done…” The Doctor brushed a hand over his face. “We must give her a chance.”

“You’re blinded, Doctor. You want her to be good so badly that you don’t see her true nature anymore!”

“The Master isn’t her true nature! This is what she has become, she wasn’t always like this. She wasn’t always evil, she wasn’t always cruel! And it’s partly my fault that she became the Master the universe knows and fears! It’s my responsibility.” The Doctor took a deep breath. “He had nothing, Nardole. The Master I knew. He was abandoned by everyone, I was his only friend. And I left him for a woman. Left him for a family. Left Gallifrey without him even though we promised each other to travel the stars together. Missy hasn’t been kind to the universe, but the universe hasn’t been kind to her either. There is so much anger inside of her, but she tries to control it, she tries to fix things and she has made progress over the years, you know it too! That isn’t me wanting her to be good, that is her being good! She is sick and lonely, her head is a mess, she is sorry, I am sorry, so can we just get over the past and look forward? She has started to make things good. She did safe those people from the black hole, she saved the little boy’s life. All the damage she has done and has been done to her can’t be fixed in a few centuries. But there is so much progress, so much potential… That’s what I see when I look at her. I’m not blinding myself from her flaws, I just see her beauty.”

Nardole sighed. “I just don’t want you to be too enthusiastic. She could always fall back into old habits.”

“I know that, Nardole. But I want to show her that I trust her. That she isn’t a prisoner anymore.”

“Yeah, you’ve surely done that.” Nardole shook his head. “You made her pregnant after all.”

The Doctor brushed his hands over his face. “That was… not planned. Not planned at all.”

“Well, that happens when a man and a woman…”

“Nardole!”

“Yeah, yeah… so where will our trip go?”

“The fifties. We want to go dancing.” The Doctor made a few poorly improvised dance moves.

“Did you step onto something?”, Bill asked, who had just entered the office.

The Doctor sighed and rolled his eyes. “We’re going dancing. In the fifties.”

“Amazing! I always wanted to go to a real dance party, not the electric disco from nowadays.”

The Doctor grinned. “Well, get ready to Rock ‘n Roll, baby.”

“Please don’t do that.” Bill shook her head.

“Sorry.” The Doctor grabbed his coat from where Missy had thrown it and put it on again. “Maybe I should bring my guitar.”

“I thought you wanted to dance, not play.”, Bill asked.

“Why not both?” The Doctor made an air guitar move and put on his sonic sunglasses.

“There we go again…” Nardole sighed.

“Shup up.”, the Doctor said and opened the door of the TARDIS. He was hit by surprise when he saw Missy standing at the control panel. She was wearing a blue rockabilly polka dot dress with a large petticoat, combined with red high heels and earrings. Her hair was held up by a red hair ribbon, making her look like a typical fifties beauty icon.

“Doctor.”, she said, her red lips forming a smile. “Look what I found. Do I have to worry because you own so much dresses?”

“The TARDIS has a mind of her own.” The Doctor stepped in, still a bit speechless and followed by Bill and Nardole.

Missy pulled a face. “I thought this would be a date. Just you and me.”

“We can leave if you want to.”, Bill offered but Nardole shook his head.

“No trips for you two alone anymore. The Doctor forgets to easy who you are and what you’re capable of. You’re still ab prisoner, remember that!”

Missy rolled her eyes. “Fine. Let’s see how Humpty Dumpty does on the dancefloor.”

“I have a name, you know?”

“Nardole.” It was the first time Missy spoke his name and it surprised him more than anyone else. “Let’s see how Nardole does on the dancefloor.”, the timelady repeated and started the TARDIS.

“Do you have a dress for me as well?”, Bill asked carefully.

“Oh darling, the Doctor has more dresses than all women in London combined.” Missy chuckled. “Come, I’ll pick something for you.” She grabbed Bills hand and pulled her downstairs.

“Do you really have time for fooling around like this? The books about the vortex already arrived, you know?”, Nardole said.

“I know.” The Doctor sighed and brushed a hand over his face. “But this makes her happy and it’s important that she won’t freak out. You know how self-destructive Missy can get and if she loses the child this way…” He shook his head. “That would erase every progress.”

“I know what you mean…” Nardole thought back of the first years they had put Missy in the vault. She had been so mentally instable that she started self-harming, screaming, breaking everything or running in circles for hours.

“We need to keep her busy and happy. I think Bill is best made for that job because Missy really put a liking in her. Probably because she is the only other woman around.”

Nardole nodded. “And because she isn’t a potential thread.”

The Doctor lifted an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“She’s gay. She won’t fall for you. And Missy knows that.”

 

After some time, Missy and Bill came back. Bill was wearing a green dress now, also including a petticoat and combined with golden heels.

“Fantastic!”, the Doctor said. “Now that the ladies are ready we can storm the dancefloor!”

Missy rolled her eyes. “That’s _Fantastic, you look so amazing, you will be the prettiest ladies on the dancefloor_ for you.”

“What she said.”, the Doctor responded and opened the TARDIS door. “Welcome to the summer of 59!”

Elvis Presley’s _[Jailhouse Rock](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gj0Rz-uP4Mk) _ was played by the band when the four time travellers entered the dance party. Men and women of all ages were dancing to the music, while others were sitting around at the tables drinking booze or eating dinner.

“Oh my God, that is so retro.”, Bill said visibly excited.

“It’s not retro yet. It’s cool now.”, the Doctor said.

“Less talking, more dancing!”, Missy shouted and pulled the Doctor on the dancefloor.

Bill and Nardole were surprised when he spun her around, their feet almost flying over the floor. Other dancers stopped to watch them because they were making such a great show. Missy and the Doctor absolutely were capable of dancing.

“I didn’t know he could do that.”, Bill said impressed.

“Me neither.” Nardole looked at her. “I can’t do that…” He nodded at the Doctor who was spinning Missy around his body. “…but I could dance with you if you want to.”

“Sure, why not?” Bill smiled. “I don’t even want this, it probably would make me sick.”

The band played a new song – _[All I Have To Do Is Dream](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbU3zdAgiX8)_ \- and Nardole chivalricly escorted Bill on the dancefloor.

“They make a good couple… for dancing I mean.”, Bill said while dancing with Nardole, who was surprisingly good in it as well.

Nardole shook his head. “Don’t forget who they are.”

“I don’t. But look at them.”

“I do. Every day.” He sighed. “The Doctor is too careless. She is still Missy. Still the Master. Despite everything.”

Bill looked back at them dancing arm in arm. “You’re right. It’s too easy to forget.”

 

Suddenly Missy jumped on the stage to the band, the Doctor still trying to stop her, but too late. She whispered something in the ear of the lead singer and after the surprise vanished from his face he nodded with a smile and handed his microphone to Missy. She winked at the Doctor before slowly moving it up to her lips.

“This one’s for someone special.”, she said in a surprisingly sexy deep voice. “You are allowed to dance but not to talk.”

Missy sat down at the piano, cleared her throat and started playing, the other members of the band coming along with her. Then she started to sing and no one in the room dared to say a word because her voice really was out of this world. Bill had heard her humming nonsense before but now she was singing, and it sounded so beautiful that it forced tears in her eyes.

“ _[Stars shining bright above you. Night breezes seem to whisper: "I love you". Birds singing in the sycamore trees. Dream a little dream of me. Say nighty-night and kiss me. Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me. While I'm alone and blue as can be dream a little dream of me. Stars fading but I linger on dear, still craving your kiss. I'm longing to linger till dawn dear. Just saying this: Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you, sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you. But in your dreams whatever they be: Dream a little dream of me. Stars fading but I linger on dear, still craving your kiss. I'm longing to linger till dawn dear. Just saying this: Sweet dreams, till sunbeams find you, gotta keep dreaming leave all worries behind you. But in your dreams whatever they be: You gotta make me a promise, promise to me you'll dream, dream a little of me.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7j8wa9sWOE)_ ”

After she had finished the song it was silent for a moment, then everyone applauded and cheered. Missy stood up and curtsied. Then she jumped off the stage, right into the Doctor’s arms. Everyone cheered again when they kissed, everyone but Nardole.

“Stop applauding!”, he hissed at Bill. “She is planning something. I know it.”

“Well, maybe she just wants to be the Doctor’s girlfriend?”, Bill asked with a shrug. “I think she loves him.”

“I wish I could be that naïve…”, Nardole grumbled and sat down at one of the free tables.

 

It was a wonderful evening. Missy and the Doctor were dancing without a break, Bill found a beautiful girl to talk to and Nardole enjoyed dinner while watching them suspiciously, but with joy.

In the end the timelords were dancing tightly to _[Only You](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5p2k55F-uag)_ , Missy’s head resting on the Doctor’s shoulder while Nardole had to save Bill from a very homophobic guy who didn’t like her flirting with the other girl. When they returned to the dancefloor, Missy and the Doctor had vanished.

“Oh… not good. Where did they go?”, Nardole asked.

“Maybe for a toilet break?” Bill shrugged while looking around.

“Together? That’s concerning.”

“How about I check the girl’s bathroom and you check the boy’s bathroom?”, Bill asked to calm him down. Nardole nodded and they both had a look, but no timelords were to be seen.

“Maybe they’re in the TARDIS.”, Bill said, after they'd searched almost every inch of the house.

“What for?”, Nardole asked, even though he already had a suspicion. They walked over to the blue box and opened the door.

When they entered Nardole’s worst fears seemed to come true. The Doctor was standing at the other side of the control panel, his hand grabbing hard on the metal, his eyes shut, while he let out a loud moan.

“Oh my God.”, Bill said and covered her eyes.

“I can’t believe this!” Nardole shouted.

Missy’s head came up from under the console, her hair a bit messy. “I could use some help here.”, she said a bit out of breath.

“You can’t be serious!”, Nardole said stunned.

“No!”, Bill yelled, covering her eyes harder.

Missy looked at the Doctor and then back at them. “I think you’re misunderstanding the situation.”

Bill carefully moved her hands down again. “What do you need help with?”, she asked slowly.

“This old man broke his ankle while dancing.”

“It was… unhappy circumstances.”, the Doctor mumbled.

Bill walked over to the other side of the console. The Doctor’s pants weren’t pulled down for adult actions, like she first assumed, but one pant leg was rolled up a bit. Missy had put iodine, unguent and other stuff on the hurt part and was wetting bandages in a bucket now.

“He is a real pussy.”, Missy sighed and poked the hurt part. It made the Doctor moan in pain again.

“I’ll help.”, Bill said, relieved that she didn’t had to see the two of them having sex. She kneeled next to Missy and helped her wrapping the bandages around the Doctor’s ankle.

“You should rest your feet now.” Missy shoved the Doctor on a chair. “I think it’s time to go home.”

“Shouldn’t he go to the hospital with a broken ankle?”, Bill asked carefully.

Missy shook her head. “We’re much more stable than you humans. It will heal soon.” She started the TARDIS and landed it back in the office. “Nardole, be a sugar pie and carry the Doctor in his bed. I would do it but… this body isn’t exactly the definition of strong.”

“That is not necessary…!”, the Doctor protested but this one time Nardole agreed with Missy and simply lifted him over his shoulder.

“You have a beautiful voice.”, Bill said after the two men had left the TARDIS.

“Thank you.” Missy smiled lightly and put away the bandages.

“You know… I really think you’re a good person after all.”, Bill said quietly. “Despite your past.”

Missy didn’t look at her. “It was a nice day. I’ll see you soon.”, she finally said, her voice trembling lightly.

“Yes.”, Bill nodded, accepting it that way and left the TARDIS.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really liked the idea of putting Missy in fifties clothing and I also love the songs of that area.  
> I've linked all the mentioned songs for you to grasp the feelings of this chapter a bit better. I hope you don't find it annoying. ^^'  
> ♥Lots of Love, Lucy


	7. Shock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something happened.

****“Doctor!”

Nardole’s loud voice pulled the timelord out of his deep slumber. He sat up in his bed, still half asleep.

“I told you so, I always told you, but you wouldn’t listen…!”, he heard the cyborg rambling.

“What happened?”, he said, blinking the sleep off his tired eyes.

“Missy is gone! With the TARDIS!”

It was as if someone had dipped him into ice and lava at the same time. He didn’t want to believe it, didn’t want to believe that she played him, that she hurt his trust that way.

“You shouldn’t have allowed her to be alone in there! The temptation was way too high!”, Nardole went on with complaining, but the Doctor didn’t listen. He climbed out of the bed and walked to the office to see it for himself. The pain of his ankle didn’t even reach his brain. Everything was dull.

Nardole had been telling the truth. The TARDIS was gone. The Doctor just stared at the empty spot, not knowing what to do.

 

“How long has he been like that?”, Bill asked quietly, looking at the Doctor who was sitting at his desk, staring at the spot where the TARDIS had been.

“Since he saw that the TARDIS is gone.”, Nardole replied. “She did a good job with tricking him.”

“I can’t believe it either…” Bill shook her head.

“He doesn’t respond to anything.” Nardole shook his head. “I think he’s in shock.”

“I don’t get why she would do that. Why now? She has been in there for so long…”

“I told you she was planning something.” Nardole shook his head. “Her innocent face lets everyone forget what she is capable of. That is a woman who would burn a whole planet just to have enough light for her makeup.”

“Isn’t that a bit overdrawn?”

Nardole looked at her. “No, it’s not! She has actually done that!”

Bill didn’t know what to respond to that and looked back at the Doctor. “He seems so lost.”, she said quietly.

“He doesn’t want to admit how much he got attached to her.” Nardole shook his head. “He trusted her completely. Now his world is shattered.”

“Doctor…?” Bill carefully stepped closer to him. He didn’t react at all.

“Are you okay?”, she tried again and grabbed his hand. It was a stupid question. He obviously wasn’t okay and didn’t even react to her touch.

“I think he needs some time.”, Nardole sighed.

“If you need anything just call me, okay?” Bill carefully squeezed the Doctor’s hand. “I’ll always be there to talk.” She gave him a warm smile.

The Doctor still didn’t move but he could feel his fingers tightening the grip lightly. She pulled him into a hug and caressed his back. It was hard for her to see him like that. But for him it probably was even harder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A small chapter as a bridge.  
> I hope you liked it and suffer as much as the Doctor. xP  
> ♥Lots of Love, Lucy


	8. The Folder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No spoilers, honey.

Three days had passed, and the Doctor hadn’t moved yet. He still was sitting at his desk, staring into nothingness. Bill and Nardole tried a lot of things to cheer him up, but nothing worked. They couldn’t even get him to eat or drink.

But then, it was already late in the evening and Bill and Nardole had been starting to play Scrabble, the familiar sound of the TARDIS twanged trough the room and it appeared back in the same spot, as if it never left.

The Doctor was up in less then a second and opened the door, followed closely by Bill and Nardole. At first sight it seemed empty but of course it wasn’t.

Missy was lying on the floor, a trail of blood leading from the control lever to her hand. She looked horrible, her clothes disrupted and her whole body injured. Her shoes were gone, just like her sonic umbrella and her coat. Only the broken blouse and skirt were left.

“Missy…” The Doctor kneeled next to her, not sure what to do.

“Sorry for the mess.”, she was breathing hard and in pain, but she still managed to smile at him.

“Where have you been? Why did you steal the TARDIS?” The Doctor’s voice was rough through the lack of water and he sounded angry, disappointed and worried at the same time.

Missy held up a folder. It was smeared with her blood. The Doctor took and opened it. His eyes widened at the contents and he looked back at the injured timelady. Then he picked her up without saying another word and carried her over to his room, laying her down on his own bed.

“Nardole, bring me water, towels and bandages.”, he said calmly. “And iodine and unguent.”

The cyborg didn’t protest. He knew that now wasn’t the time for complaints or explanations.

The Doctor undid the buttons of Missy’s blouse and carefully pulled it down from her skin. It wasn’t easy because some of her wounds dried onto the fabric and ripped open again now.

“Can I… help as well?”, Bill asked quietly.

“Make some tea.” The Doctor lifted Missy carefully to remove the blouse completely and then put off her skirt as well.

“Oh Doctor…”, Missy said quietly. “You’re undressing me in your bed…”

“Stop playing. Please.” The Doctor looked into her eyes. She couldn’t hold the gaze for long.

“I’ll have to undress you completely. If you don’t want the others to see it’s okay. I’ll tell them to leave.”

Missy huffed quietly. “Let them be jealous of my gorgeous body.”

The Doctor didn’t respond but removed her underwear as well. It was also sticky of blood.

Nardole came back in, bringing the supplies the Doctor asked for. As he saw Missy’s naked body he decided to leave again.

“I’ll clean you up first.”, the timelord explained calmly, dipping one of the towels into the warm water. “It might burn a little.” He took her hand and started with the arm. The white towel was dyed in red within seconds. She twitched and giggled a little when he washed away the blood under her arms because the was very ticklish there.

“Sorry.”

“Nothing against a laugh, honey.”

The Doctor washed the towel, moved it further down and tried not to get distracted by Missy’s reactions as he slipped it over her breasts and between her legs.

After he cleaned her up, he treated all the wounds and bandaged them as careful as possible. While he was at it, Bill entered the room with four cups of tea, followed by Nardole.

“I still have the baby. I know you want to ask that. I still have the baby.”, Missy said quietly. “It’s unharmed.”

“Wouldn’t have been my first question…”, Nardole muttered, taking one cup of tea.

“How long have you been gone?”, the Doctor asked, ignoring him while pulling a blanket over Missy’s body.

“About two years. I wanted to come back the second I left, but I screwed up.” She laughed quietly but it sounded like suffocating.

“Oh Missy…” The Doctor shook his head. “Now we have to find a solution in eleven months.”

“Ten.” Missy took his hand. “We both know that there won’t be a solution. That there won’t be a happy end. I had to do it now. Before I die. Before it’s too late.”

The Doctor knew that she was serious. “You won’t die.” He shook his head. “Bad weeds grow tall.”

“Is that a human saying?”

“Yes.”

Missy smiled a little. “I like it.”

“Want… some tea?”, Bill asked carefully, handing a cup to her. The timelady took it.

“Do you want to tell us now why you stole the TARDIS?”, Nardole said, still very passive aggressive.

“Oh, I already did.” She nodded at the folder the Doctor had put on the bedside table and took a sip from the tea. Nardole was looking at the Doctor now, awaiting an explanation.

“Its lists.”, the timelord said quietly. “Names.”

“What names?”, Bill asked.

“Names of oh so many creatures.” Missy closed her eyes. “I visited them all.”

The Doctor took the folder and opened it. It was sorted by the alphabet and contained lots of names, all of them checked off.

“Those are the names of people from planets Missy destroyed. Of people she took away relatives from. People she hurt. People she destroyed their lives.”

“I couldn’t remember more of them, no matter how hard I tried.” Missy stared into her cup of tea. “I visited them all and said sorry. I told them they’re allowed to beat me up. That they can do everything with me but taking my baby away… I know that it doesn’t make up for what I’ve done to them… but I thought it was the right thing to do.”

“It was incredibly dangerous… but yes, it was right. And it was kind.” The Doctor smiled at her. He couldn’t really hide that he was proud of her.

“So, that’s what you’ve been planning…”, Nardole muttered.

Missy nodded. “You’re so sensible to plotting.”

“I knew you aren’t like that.” Bill smiled.

“Please leave now.”, the Doctor said suddenly. “Missy needs to rest. We can talk about things later.”

He shoved Bill and Nardole out of the room and wanted to follow them, but Missy called his name.

“Doctor. Please stay.”

He turned back to her. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” She nodded. “Stay.”

“Okay.” The Doctor closed the door without even considering the others anymore.

“Come here.” She patted next to her on the bed. “Be my pillow.”

“Do you want some clothes?”

“I’m good. Come here.”

The Doctor put off his shoes and coat before he laid down next to her. She immediately slipped onto him, using him as a mattress. He could feel her hearts beating and sensed her warm breath against his neck. Carefully, he wrapped an arm around her damaged body.

“Do you regret it? Having sex with me?”, she suddenly asked.

The Doctor looked down at her. “Yes.”

She nodded, still smiling, but he knew she was hurt.

“But I only regret it because of the baby.”, he added. “It’s my fault, I should have paid attention.” He shook his head. “And I’m sorry that I yelled at you and left. I wanted to blame you because I didn’t want to face why I did it.”

“Silly sausage.” Missy closed her eyes.

“I’m very proud of you.”, the Doctor whispered, running a hand through her hair. “I don’t think you even grasp completely what a beautiful thing you did.”

“ _After learning about the poverty in the villages she had caused she felt sorry and she tried to help. Her childhood friend was very proud of her and supported her in every way possible. She married her childhood friend and they lived happily ever after._ ”, Missy quoted the fairy tale the Doctor made up for her. “I liked that story.”, she added. “It gave me the courage I needed to finally do it.”

“I’m glad you liked it.” The Doctor smiled lightly.

Missy looked up at him again. “I feel so much regret.”, she said quietly. “It hurts and burns through my body like venom. Sometimes I just want it all to end. This is worse than the drums. This is worse than anything else.”

“I know how you feel, Missy.” The Doctor closed his eyes. “For a long time, I thought I was the last of the timelords. That I was the one who destroyed the planet… killed everyone. I grabbed the pain… held it tight. I knew I deserved it. And that’s why I fly around in a blue box, saving the universe. I don’t want anybody else to feel this way. Death is the winner in any war.”

“I did unforgivable things. I don’t deserve redemption.” Missy closed her eyes. “The more my head clears, the harder it gets.”

“Missy, you don’t have to blame yourself completely. Mental illness isn’t an excuse, but it’s a reason.” The Doctor caressed her cheek. “You weren’t full aware of what you were doing. You didn’t see the consequences.”

“Wrong. I knew what I was doing. I did see the consequences. And it amused me. Mothers crying for their children… I used to love that sound…”

“But you have changed. And that’s what’s important. We all did bad things but if you truly regret them and will never do them again…”

“Don’t try to justify it.” Missy sat up, pulling on her bandages. “I am a monster. I even look like a mummy.”

“You aren’t a monster.” The Doctor sat up as well and took her hands. “The Master is dead. Now you’re just Missy. A new start.”

Missy smiled lightly and entwined their fingers. “So much to learn… so little time.”

“I won’t allow you to die.” The Doctor’s grip tightened.

“Please don’t force me to let the child die.” Missy shook her head. “I couldn’t live with it. I can endure everything but that. Not that. Not my baby.” Tears were dripping down her cheeks now.

“I can do it too.”, the Doctor whispered but Missy shook her head.

“The universe needs you. It would be nothing without the Doctor. You just must promise me that you will make sure that the child will grow up safe… and kind. Not evil.” Missy smiled a little.

The Doctor looked down at their hands, nodding slowly. “I promise.”

“Hey.” Missy rested a hand on his cheek. “Don’t be sad. It’s a happy ending.”

“What’s happy about you dying?” He looked at her, his eyes a bit watery.

“I’ll die as a good person, not a villain. I’ll die saving our child, not like a coward or in a battle or whatever. I’ll die for something good. I’ll die to give life. Isn’t that what you wanted? Me being good in the end?”

“Yes but… it’s still not happy. I’m not happy.” He grabbed her face with both hands. “I don’t want to lose you.”

She smiled while crying. “Stay strong. Nothing lasts forever. But every ending is a new beginning.”

He shook his head and kissed her. It was a desperate kiss, different from all the others they’d shared before. They both were crying and snatched for each other’s lips.

Missy wrapped her arms around him, her fingers caressing through his hair and crawling in his back. He returned the hug and pulled her close, carefully though since he didn’t want to hurt her.

“We could do it again.”, she suddenly whispered. “After all, I’m already pregnant.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” The Doctor ran a hand through her hair. “The others are next door and you’re hurt.”

“Then you have to be nice and quiet.” She bit his lower lip and pulled on it.

“You’re hopeless.” The Doctor shook his head. “You should sleep now.”

“I’d sleep much better after an orgasm. Though the last one was pretended.”

“It wasn’t.”

“It was.”

“You only want to convince me by hurting my ego.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” She chuckled.

“If you behave and recover properly… we can talk about the topic again.” He kissed her forehead.

Missy grinned. “I’ll remind you.” She rested her head on his shoulder. “Tell me another bedtime story.”

“If you promise me to sleep and move away your foot from my crotch.”

“Was worth a try.” She moved away from him and laid down on the pillow.

“Fairy tales are pretty simple. There is a beautiful young girl that wants to find love, combined with a handsome prince that will take her to her castle. And of course, there is a villain, mostly evil ugly stepmothers. But life doesn’t work like a fairy tale.” The Doctor laid down next to Missy and pulled her in his arms. “There is no good and bad, no black and white. Everybody is good and bad. Everybody did good and bad things. We’re all grey. It’s our decisions that make us.”

“Have you read Harry Potter recently?”

The Doctor snorted. “Yes. But that doesn’t change that it’s true.”

“I want a story, not a lecture.” Missy pouted.

“Alright.” The Doctor kissed her forehead again. “There once was a man everyone just called the Doctor.”

“Doctor who?”

“Shut up.” He ignored Missy’s chuckles and continued. “The Doctor wasn’t a good man. But he also wasn’t a bad man.”

“He was an idiot.”

“Exactly. And that idiot had an even more idiotic friend who recently became a woman. A pretty woman.”

“You bootlicker.”

“I won’t lick your boots, now shut up.” The Doctor sighed. “I’m correcting myself, a pretty _annoying_ woman.”

Missy pouted.

“Anyway… they weren’t exactly like fairy tale heroes. Missy wasn’t pretty young heroine –“

“Hey!”

“– and the Doctor wasn’t a Prince Charming. But this is life, not Disney. And so, it was perfectly fine. They liked the stories and the songs, but they knew it was fiction. Fiction can be a pretty thing… until you confuse it with reality. They both knew them being together was fiction… but sometimes it’s allowed to dream for a while.”

“I don’t like that story.” Missy turned away.

“Sorry.” The Doctor caressed her back slowly. “I just…”

“You just want to prevent it from happening because you know it’s not for long. And that’s okay. But that has nothing to do with a bedtime story. Bedtime stories have to be magical and wipe away the tears.”

“I don’t think I can wipe away the tears right now.”

Missy turned back to him, burying her head in his chest. “Then I’ll tell you a story.”, she muttered dull.

“Please just sleep, okay?”

“Once upon a time there was a boy named Theta. He was very clumsy so one day he fell down a large rabbit hole and found himself in a magical land. There was a white rabbit named Nardole, who just complained all the time and Theta followed him through the wonderland. But he was too fast because he was so fat that he could roll himself and Theta wasn’t a fast runner. He was lost and didn’t know where to go. Then suddenly a curly cat appeared. She was a pervert and flirted with Theta. And somehow, he liked her too but then she vanished with the current, like Cheshire cats always do. Theta missed her, but he knew that she was safe, so it was okay. And as he walked through the woods he found a tea party at a clearing. It was held by a woman named Missy, who was as mad as a hatter, and a girl named Bill who was just a tired mouse. They didn’t have a march hare because Missy didn’t have more friends. And Theta who did like her had to leave too because the servants of the queen, the cybermen, took him and brought him to the castle. Theta was surprised when he saw that the queen wasn’t a queen but his old friend Koschei. He called out his name but Koschei denied it and commanded Theta to call him the Master now. Then he ordered the cybermen to cut off Thetas head because he liked cutting off people’s heads. But Missy entered the castle and killed him, becoming the queen now. She made a knight out of Theta and then married him, and they had many little babies and were happy. The End.”

“That was a very special interpretation of Alice in Wonderland.”

“Traveling with you is like wonderland.” Missy yawned and closed her eyes, using him as a pillow. “Mad man in a box…”

“With a mad woman on his side.” The Doctor pulled the blanket over them and leaned his head against hers.

“We’re all mad here…”, Missy muttered before falling asleep.

“Yes…” The Doctor closed his eyes as well. “Yes, we are.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plottwist? ... Idk. xD  
> I hope you like how the story is going. Thank you for reading! :3  
> ♥Lots of Love, Lucy


	9. Biscuits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A(n) (un)healthy breakfast.

When the Doctor woke up, Missy was gone. He climbed out of the bed and left the room to look for her. His search didn’t take long because she was sitting cross-legged on his office chair, a cup of tea in hands and wearing nothing but one of his shirts. Nardole was sitting on the other side of the desk and was asking her questions about the previous two years. She was answering them in a monotone voice, like always when she got bored.

“Good morning, sleepyhead.”, Missy said with a smile when she noticed him. “I would have woken you up, but you were sleeping like a stone, so I got breakfast for myself.”

“It’s fine.” The Doctor smiled and sat down on the desk, since both chairs were in use.

Nardole cleared his throat. “You still haven’t answered all of my questions yet.”

“Later, Nardole.”, the Doctor said before Missy could answer. “We’ve got time.”

“Doctor, I must protest!” Nardole stood up, though it wasn’t very impressive due to his short height. “We must not neglect our duties of guarding her!”

“I am guarding her!” The Doctor pointed at Missy. “Have you seen her? She is hurt. She needs to rest.”

“She is present.”, Missy added. “And she can talk for herself.”

Nardole and the Doctor both looked at her as if they’d forgotten this fact.

“Without hope. Without witness. Without reward.” Missy stood up and walked around the table until she stood in front of Nardole. “That is what I have sworn, and that is the code I will act after. I visited those people without the hope of getting redemption. Without a witness who could testify my actions. Without expecting any reward. I did it because it was right.”

Nardole nodded and wrote the answer down.

“Oh, and Doctor…” Missy looked at him. “… I’m not fragile. I’m a grown-up woman. I don’t need no clucking.”

The Doctor lifted his hands in defence. “Whatever you say, miss.”

“Do you still have some of those chocolate biscuits…?”

“Uhm… nope, I think not.” The Doctor scratched his head.

“You never share them with me!” Missy crossed her arms and pouted.

“Over there.” Nardole nodded to the shopping basket he had brought from the supermarket. Missy immediately walked over and rummaged through the purchase.

“Aha!”, she yelled in victory and pulled the biscuits out of the basket. “Mine!”

“Hey, don’t take them all!” The Doctor walked over and tried to snatch the pack, but Missy ducked and moved it out of his reach.

“You’re horrible at sharing!”

“ _You’re_ horrible at sharing!” He tried to snatch them again, but Missy avoided his grip and jumped on the desk.

“You ate the last pack alone and didn’t give me one piece! So, it’s only fair if I keep this one!”

“Fairness ends with biscuits!”

“So, this is war?” Missy grinned. “Then I will win!"

“No, you won’t!” The Doctor attacked her again. Missy tried to move but she slipped on the desk and fell on him, pushing him to the floor. While the pack of biscuits did slide to the other side of the room Missy chuckled, now laying on him.

“I know something better than biscuits.”, she muttered before kissing him.

“Oh God, please take a room.”, Nardole complained when their kiss deepened, and the Doctor’s hand sunk in the fabric of the shirt.

Missy laughed and sat up. “Jealous?”

“As if.” Nardole closed his folder with a loud noise.

The Doctor sat up as well, Missy still on his lap. “Maybe we should take a room.”, he muttered while kissing along her neck.

“Oh Doctor, how naughty you are.” She chuckled while Nardole just rolled his eyes.

“I must remind the professor that his lecture starts in five minutes.”

“Right.” The Doctor nodded and shoved Missy down from his lap. “Duty’s calling.”

Missy pouted. “Now that’s just rude.”

“I’m sorry.” The Doctor cupped her face. “I’ll have time for you later.” He gave her another kiss.

“I’ll be waiting. Eating the biscuits.” She smirked.

“Fine, you can have them.” The Doctor took his satchel and waved. “See you after class!”

“Like a schoolgirl.”, Missy huffed after he’d left the room. “Only the skirt is missing.”

“I don’t want to imagine him in a skirt… too late.”, Nardole muttered.

“You’re welcome.” Missy got up and grabbed the biscuits. “So, how about a fine game of Scrabble?”

 

“… and that’s why Romeo and Juliet might be a classic love story but it’s not romantic at all.”, the Doctor added to his lecture on botanic. He didn’t know how he got to that topic, but he had a suspicion. “Anyways, flower power really is a thing because there are some flowers with enormous powers and…”

He got interrupted in his sentence as the door of the lecture hall opened with a bang. Nardole was standing there, completely out of breath.

“Doctor! Emergency!”, he yelled and started running again.

“Excuse me.” The Doctor ran after him and closed the door on his way. He didn’t need to get an explanation to know that it was about Missy. Emergencies always were about Missy. But when they ran up the stairs to the office he heard her scream. It wasn’t her usual rage screams when she lost her mind or the screams of her nightmares. It was a painful scream filled with fear and panic.

He passed Nardole as he sped up and kicked open the door of his office. The screams were gone, just like Missy. Scrabble letters and biscuits were covering the floor. It looked like a battlefield.

“What happened?!”, he yelled at Nardole who arrived in the office as well, catching for air.

“I… I was given a minute… I ran as fast as I could… but it’s impossible… to be back in a minute…”, Nardole panted.

“Who gave you a minute?!” The Doctor grabbed his shoulders. “Who was here?!”

“The Lady President. She took Missy to Gallifrey.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the chapter is short, but I thought this would be the perfect cliffhanger ending. I'm sorry. xD  
> ♥Lots of Love, Lucy


	10. Hielalmwana

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened on Gallifrey...

The Doctor froze for a second when Nardole told him the truth. Everything inside of him seemed to scream, like Missy when she got taken away.

“Doctor!” Bill entered the office, breathing hard. She had been sitting in his lecture and decided to look if everything was alright.

“No…”, the Doctor muttered, not even noticing her. “No!”, he squalled and rushed into the TARDIS, closely followed by his two companions.

“You have to help me.” He rested his hands on the TARDIS controls. “Missy is gone. You must get me to Gallifrey to save her. Help me find her. I beg you.”

“Who is he talking to?”, Bill asked quietly.

“The TARDIS.” Nardole looked up at the ceiling where the engine had started without the Doctor doing anything. It was spinning faster than usual. The ground was shaking, and Bill almost fell. Then it suddenly stopped.

The Doctor hustled outside immediately. The TARDIS was standing in the middle of a long white hallway.

“Missy?!”, the Doctor yelled.

“Doctor!” She screamed. It was dull, but she was close enough to hear him. He ran down the hallway, following her screams.

“No!” She sounded hysterical, panic-fuelled and was screaming with all her might.

The Doctor kicked open doors as her voice got louder, desperately wanting to reach her before it was to late. Then the Lady President was stepping out of a room, guarded by four soldiers.

“Where is she?” The Doctor asked breathless. “What are you doing to her?”

“She is having an abortion.” The Lady President ran a hand through her straw blonde hair. “Too many people have gathered knowledge of the child. We can’t allow her to keep it.”

Missy was still screaming in the background.

“Please, I beg you, you don’t have to do this.” The Doctor shook his head.

“We can’t allow the Master to raise a child.”

“Then don’t. That’s fine, that’s okay, I get that. But don’t kill the child. Let her have it and then take it to an orphanage. It doesn’t have to know their origins.” The Doctor kneeled on the ground. “Please. I’m begging you on my knees. Don’t do this.”

“I’m sorry.” The Lady President closed her eyes. “This isn’t my decision. People all over the universe are scared.”

“Scared of a baby?”, Bill asked who caught up to them, together with Nardole. “How does the universe get safer with murder?”

“Simple humans like you wouldn’t understand.” The Lady President looked down at the Doctor who was still kneeling on the ground. “You know it, Doctor. You know that this is necessary.”

He was silent for a few seconds, then he looked up, right into her eyes. “No.” He stood up again. “No. Murder is never right. And murdering an innocent baby is a horrible crime. Doing this makes you just as worse as her. Missy is regretting. She is getting better day by day, she is starting to understand the difference between right or wrong. And you’re destroying her. You’re killing her baby. The baby she wanted to die for. How many mothers would do that?”

“She wanted to die for the baby?”, Bill asked quietly.

“Yes.” The Doctor turned around to look at her. “There is one other way next to the vortex to get a child. When it’s time to give birth, you can give all your regenerations to the child. It will kill you and your child won’t be able to regenerate… but it will live one life. That’s what Missy wanted to do. She’d rather sacrifice herself than her child!” He turned back to the Lady President. “So, get out of my way. Let me stop this before it’s too late.”

The Lady President looked at him. “I’m sorry but I can’t allow that. It is her own fault for telling so many people who fear her about her pregnancy.”

The Doctor wanted to fight his way to the room now, but the four soldiers grabbed him, Bill and Nardole before they could go far.

“If I have to choose between a war with species from all over the universe or one single child, I’ll gladly sacrifice that child.” The Lady President explained to the Doctor. “It’s nothing I’ll be proud of but if a war breaks out many people will die. Other children, mothers and families. If that unborn child dies, peace will remain. It’s the only way.”

“But it will break her…” The Doctor had stopped reasoning. His voice was broken. He knew that he had lost.

“Maybe you’re not completely objective.” The Lady President didn’t sound accusing. But the understanding tune of her voice made it even harder for him.

 

The hallway had gone quiet. Missy didn’t scream anymore, and the silence was even harder to bear.

After about a minute she left the room, accompanied by two doctors. She was wearing a hospital nightshirt and hugging a jar with something inside that wasn’t fluid or solid but sparkling in blue like a little universe. Her whole body was scratched, just like the ones of the doctors. She had been struggling against them with all her might, even when they cuffed her hands and feet. Her wrists and ankles were bleeding, but she didn’t even notice. She didn’t notice anything and was just staring into nothingness.

“Missy.” The Doctor cut loose from the soldier and hugged her tight. She didn’t respond at all.

“You can go now.”, the Lady President said, and the soldiers released Bill and Nardole as well.

Without any other word the Doctor walked back to the TARDIS, one arm wrapped around Missy who was cradling the jar in her arms and humming quietly.

“What is that blue stuff?”, Bill asked Nardole quietly, since she knew that it wasn’t a good time to ask the Doctor.

“It’s called hielalmwana here on Gallifrey. If you’d translate it, it would mean something like child of the universe. It’s like an embryo. It grows inside of the mother until the vortex forms it. They removed it from her body. It can’t survive for long and will slowly lapse until it’s gone completely.”

“That… that is just horrible.” Bill looked at Missy who was still holding the jar like a baby.

“There is nothing we can do now.” Nardole shook his head.

They entered the TARDIS and Missy sat down on the floor, placing the jar on her lap and caressing the glass. It was the saddest thing Bill had ever seen and she could barely hold back her tears.

“Doctor.”, Missy whispered quietly. Her voice was gone through all the screaming.

“Yes?” He sat down next to her, worried but smiling.

“I think it’s a girl.”

The Doctor looked inside the jar. Of course, there was no way to recognize a gender from the hielalmwana.

“Yes, I think you’re right.”, he said nevertheless. His voice was shaking.

“How should we call her?” Missy looked at him. There still wasn’t any kind of expression on her face or in her voice.

“You’re the mother.” The Doctor wiped over his face to stop the tears. “It’s your decision.”

Missy looked back at the jar. “Will a name help?”

“I… I don’t think so.” The Doctor carefully placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Without hope. Without witness. Without reward.”, Missy repeated her vow. “You name will be Ndikuyembekezavidnenagrada.”

“Wow… catchy.”, Bill muttered.

“There is a rule on Gallifrey that a name has to have at least 20 letters. That’s why everyone uses nicknames.”, Nardole mumbled back.

“We’ll call her Kuye until she chooses a name.” Missy nodded and looked at them. “She will go to the academy.”

“Missy…” The Doctor tightened his grip on her shoulder.

“She will become a timelord. She will look through the Untempered Schism and she will see the beauty of the vortex without any damage.”

“Missy.”

“But she won’t be allowed to have any pets…”

“Missy!”

“She will become a good person. She will be kind and caring. You know that. She will…”

“Koschei!”

The TARDIS went quiet after the Doctor shouted her real name, at least the part of it he always had called her. Missy put the jar on the ground and looked at him. There still wasn’t any expression on her face and it was scarier than her outbursts of fury.

“You have to face it, Missy.”, he said quietly.

“I never loved her. My father forced me to marry her. I never wanted her. My father forced me to have children. But I loved my daughter. Do you remember her?”, Missy asked quietly.

“Yes, I do.” The Doctor carefully took her hand. “I gave you that brooch for her.”

“Yes.” Missy nodded. “I was strict. Maybe too strict. But I just wanted her to be strong. I wanted her to stand up against bullies.”

“I know. And she knew it too.” The Doctor slowly caressed her hand.

“You do remember her.” Missy looked down at their hands. “Say her name.”

The Doctor took a deep breath. “Seren.”

“Tell me how she died.”

“Missy…”

“Tell me how she died.”

The Doctor closed his eyes. “She fell into the vortex.”

“Why?”

“Because it drove her insane.”

“Who got blamed for it?”

“You.”

“Who wasn’t even present when it happened?”

“You.”

“Who loved her more than anything else?”

“You.”

“Gallifrey.” Missy stood up and spat on the floor. “That’s what it is. It’s a pit filled with shit.”

“Nardole, please get Bill out of here.” The Doctor grabbed Missy’s hands again. “Missy look at me. Keep it together.”

“I won’t!” Missy pushed him away with full strength, right into the next wall.

Nardole stepped in front of Bill and slowly shoved her to the door while giving her cover.

“Missy, please don’t do anything you’ll regret later.” The Doctor slowly stood up again.

“Regret?!” Now she laughed. Maniacally. “All I feel is regret. But is it my fault?! No! No, it’s this hellhole! It’s Gallifrey! They put the drums in my head! They killed my daughter! Because of their stupid, stupid rituals!” She took the Doctor’s blackboard and threw it through the room. It broke at the wall.

“I know. It’s unfair.” The Doctor carefully moved closer to her.

“And now they kill my child for their own benefit! They never cared about me or anyone or anything!” She kicked against the bookshelf but of course it was more solid then her bare feet and just made her bleed.

“They didn’t care about my family either.”, the Doctor agreed. “But we left. We’re no longer one of them.”

“They killed my baby!”, Missy screamed and now she was crying. “My baby…” She fell on her knees and grabbed the jar again. The Doctor was with her in seconds and pulled her into a tight hug.

“Please take me out of here.”, she sobbed. “I want to sleep in your bed.”

He picked her up in bridal style and carried her out of the TARDIS. Bill and Nardole were standing next to it, both looking at them.

“Missy is very exhausted.”, the Doctor said quietly. “I’ll bring her to bed.”

Missy’s head was buried in his shoulder and he could feel the fabric getting wet. He brought her to his room and carefully put her down on the bed.

“I need to use the bathroom.”, she said quietly.

“Do you want me to come with you?”, he asked carefully.

“No.” She stood up again, the jar still in her arms, and walked over to the bathroom door.

After she’d closed the door the Doctor fell on the bed and closed his eyes. He had been trying to stay strong for her, but he barely could keep it together for himself and it felt good to just lie there without responsibilities for a few seconds. But after the seconds became minutes, he got worried again. He stood up and walked over to the bathroom door.

“Missy?” He knocked at the door. “Everything alright?”

She didn’t answer. That was enough reason for the Doctor to open the door.

Missy was sitting on the floor, the jar on her lap and his razor in her hand. She looked up at him, eyes watery.

“I want to kill myself. I really do. But I can’t.”, she said quietly. “I can’t hurt you.”

“Missy…” He sat down next to her and she handed him the razor.

“You’ve always been the stronger one.”, she muttered and caressed the jar.

“I’m not strong. I feel pretty helpless right now.” He rested his hand on hers, feeling the week pulsating of the hielalmwana.

“She will be gone soon.”, Missy said quietly. “She is already weaker than before.”

“I’m sorry that it had to end like this. I wanted to save her, but they stopped me.” He carefully caressed her hand.

“I know.” She closed her eyes. “I loved being the Master. Now I must live with the consequences. My past will never leave me.”

“I see you, Missy. I see my friend. I see a good person. I see endless potential.” The Doctor rested his other hand on her cheek. “I see the woman I love.”

Her eyes widened at these words and he kissed her softly.

“When I became a woman, I was scared at first. The world is different, and I had to learn so much. But then I noticed that it’s easier to manipulate with snogging.”, Missy muttered against his lips. “But you always were the only one who made my hearts beat faster.”

“Do I have to get jealous?”

“Oh, I know your last wife. If you weren’t bothered by her actions you most certainly aren’t bothered with mine.”

The Doctor sighed. “River… sometimes I’m really happy that I don’t know the things she did when I wasn’t there.”

“She’s a very good kisser though.” Missy winked.

“I’m not listening!” The Doctor covered his ears.

Missy pulled his hands back down and kept holding them. “I love being a woman, Doctor. It feels so much better than manhood. And I’m scared to regenerate into a man again. Would you still love me if I did?”

“Of course, I would. I always did… more or less.”

Missy rested her head on his shoulder. “We would have been horrible parents.”

“We already were…” The Doctor hesitated for a moment. “Why did you talk about Seren? We usually pretend that you didn’t have children.”

“Yes, because it hurts… but you’re right. I must face it. Seren and Kuye. My dead daughters.” Missy looked back at the jar. “Kuye will be our nightlight tonight. My little starshine.”

“She is beautiful.”, the Doctor said quietly.

“She is everything and nothing. An eternity and a moment. She is a child of the universe.” Missy closed her eyes and suddenly she began to sing.

“ _You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are grey. You’ll never know dear how much I love you. Please don’t take my sunshine away_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Missy, my sunshine, I'm sorry for doing this to you.  
> ... Nah, I'm not. xD  
> I hope you liked it. :D  
> ♥Lots of Love, Lucy


	11. Tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lullaby of tears.

When Bill entered the Doctor’s room, balancing a tray filled with biscuits and tea, Missy and the Doctor were lying on the bed, curled up so close that is was hard to see which body part belonged to who. The hielalmwana was standing on the bedside table. It was shining a dim light that seemed to be much weaker than before.

“I… brought some biscuits.”, she said quietly when the two timelords looked at her. “Thought maybe you’re… hungry.”

Missy slowly entwined herself from the Doctor and sat up. “You want to cheer me up.”

“Kinda… sorry, I don’t really know how to help so I thought… yeah, probably a dumb idea. I’m sorry.” Bill wanted to leave again.

“I’d love to have a biscuit.”, Missy said quietly. “And some tea.”

Bill put down the tray on the bed, carefully so she wouldn’t spill anything, and Missy took a biscuit. She was eating slowly, like she had forgotten how to chew properly.

The Doctor sat up as well. “You don’t have to force yourself to eat, Missy.”, he said quietly. “Bill will understand.”

“Yeah.” The black woman nodded. “I totally understand.”

Missy closed her eyes for a second. “My baby is dying. Sorry that my appetite is low.”

“I’m really sorry.”, Bill said quietly and carefully caressed Missy’s hand. She looked at her, eyes full of tears.

“Don’t ever get children.”, she said quietly, taking her hand. “It might feel horrible if your mother dies before you, but nothing hurts more than losing a child.”

“You’ve already lost one before.”

“Yes. And they blamed me for it.” Missy’s glance got angry again. “I loved her. It wasn’t my fault that it happened. But I’m always getting blamed for everything. Even for the stuff I didn’t do.” Her grip around Bill’s hand tightened. “They killed my baby. You were there. You’ve seen it. Is it my fault now?”

“Missy…” The Doctor carefully removed her hand from Bill’s. “You’re hurting her.”

“Oh…” Missy looked at her hand. “Was I now?”

“It didn’t hurt.”, Bill lied because of course it did.

“I want my baby.”, Missy said quietly, and the Doctor handed her the glowing jar from the bedside table. The timelady cradled it in her arms again, humming quietly.

“Kuye is tired.”, she said after a while. “She will sleep soon.”

“Is there… nothing we can do?”, Bill asked. Her voice was breaking, and she could feel tears in her eyes. It hurt her to see Missy holding her dying child. It hurt her more than anything else before.

“We can sing a lullaby.”, Missy hummed. “She will sleep well then. No monsters in the dark to harm her.”

“I’m so sorry.”, Bill whispered. Tears were dripping down from her face now.

“Why are you crying?”, Missy asked.

“She is sorry for you. She feels you pain.”, the Doctor said quietly while wrapping and arm around her shoulders.

“A lullaby of tears.”, Missy whispered. “Will keep her safe and warm. Come here. Cry with us.” She reached out for Bill who sat down on the bed and wrapped an arm around Missy as well.

“You’re loved.”, Missy said while holding the jar close to her hearts. “You won’t be forgotten.”

“I love you.”, the Doctor said quietly while touching the jar with one hand. It was the first time he allowed himself to show feelings for the child. His eyes were wet too now.

“I would have loved to babysit you when your parents are up to stupid stuff.”, Bill whispered and wiped away the tears from her face, before touching the jar as well.

And suddenly water started to flow under her fingers.

“What is happening?!”, the Doctor asked.

“What are you doing?!”, Missy screamed.

“I don’t know!”, Bill moved back but the water continued to flow over the jar, the bed and the floor until it formed the shape of a girl.

“Heather…”, Bill whispered.

“Why is she back?”, the Doctor asked quietly. “Did you call her?”

“No… no I…”

“The pilot.”, Missy suddenly started to smile and suddenly gave Bill a kiss. “You called the pilot for me!”

“Did I?” Bill blinked in confusion and looked back at Heather who was staring at the jar.

“The pilot.”, she repeated Missy’s words and reached out one hand.

“No, no, no, what are you doing?!”, the Doctor yelled when Missy handed the jar to her.

“You stupid, stupid man.”, Missy stood up and now was facing Heather eye to eye. “Kuye.”

“Kuye.”, Heather repeated.

“Save.”

“Save.” She looked at the jar in her hand and suddenly it started to glow again. Brighter and brighter until the whole room was filled with blinding light. When it faded away again Heather wasn’t holding a jar anymore but a baby.

“How… I mean… what…?”, Bill whispered in awe.

The Doctor jumped off the bed, next to Missy and grabbed her shoulders. “How did you know?”, he asked.

“Because I’m smarter then you and know a lot more.”

Heather handed the baby to Missy who took it carefully in her arms. “Thank you.”, she whispered.

“Thank you.”, Heather repeated. Then she looked at Bill.

“I miss you.”, the black girl said quietly.

“I miss you.”, Heather repeated. Then she reached out her hand.

“Don’t you want to go with her?”, Missy asked.

“I do but… I’m scared.”

“I’m scared.”, Heather repeated and put her hand down again.

“Missy, do you know if it’s safe?”, the Doctor asked quietly while looking back and forth between Heather and Bill.

“It’s safer than traveling with you.” Missy leaned her head against the Doctor’s chest. “She can show you everything. You can travel the whole universe within a second, not bound to a body, not bound to the laws of space and time. You’d be free. Freer than anyone else. Come on. Take her hand.”

“But what about…?”

“Us?” Missy smiled. “We have a baby to take care of. We won’t travel now.”

“That’s why I’m worried.”

“Hey!” Missy pouted.

Bill looked back at Heather. “Will you come again later?”

“Come again later.”, Heather said. It wasn’t a question anymore. Then she vanished into a puddle of water again.

 

Nardole, Bill and the Doctor were on their feet the whole day. Since none of them expected the baby to survive they also hadn’t got any needed stuff. So, they went shopping. Clothes, a cradle, diapers, baby bottles, comforters, cuddle toys, … the list was endless.

Missy stayed at the Doctor’s room, taking care of her little daughter. They had temporary wrapped her up in a blanked since they didn’t have baby clothes and Missy held her tight to keep her warm.

In the end they converted the Doctor’s room to a nursery with the cradle net to his bed and children’s stuff everywhere. Deadbeat, the Doctor finally fell into the bed next to Missy after putting everything up and rested his head on her chest. Kuye was sleeping peacefully in her cradle.

“My poor hard-working man.” Missy kissed his forehead.

“You could have helped me.”

“I had to take care of my baby.”

“You didn’t move an inch the whole day.”

“Do you think we’ll make it?”, Missy switched topics while running a hand through his hair. “Raising a child together.”

“We don’t have much of a choice.” The Doctor smiled at her. “And yes, I think we will make it. Without interfering Gallifreyans. They think she’s dead and have no reason to show up again.”

Missy nodded. “So, the TARDIS is _out of order_ again. But I don’t want to live in the vault anymore…”

“Yes, that’s why you will stay here with me.”

“Like a family?”

“We are family. Now you can prove yourself otherwise. Live like a normal human mother and raise our child like a normal human kid. Without any timelords interfering. No stupid vortex rituals. She will learn that stuff when she’s old enough and we will teach her.”

Missy smiled a little. “I think I’ll enjoy this test.” She looked over to the sleeping Kuye. “How will you explain your students?”

He smirked. “Oh, I’ve got the perfect idea…”

 

“Today is a very special lecture!”, the Doctor said after his students arrived at the lecture hall. “As you know the topic of today is _biology_ and fitting to that topic I have an announcement to make.”

He smirked and pulled away the curtain that was hiding Missy and Kuye. The timelady waved at the students with a smile.

“I am a father now!”, the Doctor shouted and lifted up his daughter as if she was Simba from _The Lion King_. The whole class applauded which scared her and she started to cry a little, but he carefully soothed her in his arms.

“Perfect idea, really.” Missy shook her head but then rested it on his shoulder.

“Hey, they liked it.”

“Will you show and tell the kid’s accruement now?”, a student shouted with a grin and some others laughed.

“Right, right, how does this work again?” Missy walked over to the blackboard. “Woman gets egg in stomach.” She drew a circle. “Egg produces baby.” She drew a smaller circle inside. “Baby makes woman faaat.” She drew a woman with a very large stomach. “Woman presses out baby with all her vital organs, there is a huge splatter movie and voilà, a child is born!”

The students laughed and applauded at that. She grinned and visibly seemed to enjoy this.

“Anyway, my name is Missy and I’m the girlfriend of this stupid old man.” She wrapped and arm around the Doctor. “And he made me go through all of this.” Missy pointed back to her drawings on the blackboard which made the students laugh again.

“Do you want to the lecture today?”, the Doctor asked with a smirk while noticing her excitement.

“Finally, I thought you’d never asked.” She walked back to the blackboard while the Doctor said down on the chair, taking care of Kuye.

“I’m sorry that you had to suffer under this amateur for so long. Now I’m gonna teach you the real stuff.” Missy erased her pregnancy drawings. “And before you ask, no, I’m not underqualified because I’m a woman or because you think he is oh so smart, I can speak English, French, Spanish, German, Russian, Icelandic and Japanese and I’m learning Chinese at the moment because I’m not lazy using a translator all the time like Mr Oh-So-Smart over here, I had higher grades on university and had to help him with his homework and besides…” She smirked. “… I am the pretty one.”

The students laughed and applauded again.

“Silence!”, Missy shouted. “So, let’s see… biology is boring so let’s get one with something far more interesting...”

Missy’s class was a huge success. The students loved her and her humour, her knowledge and of course her insults on the Doctor’s intelligence.

After the lecture the Doctor took the word again. “Thank you for that, Missy. Now, before you leave…” He looked up at the students with a smirk. “…there is something I need to do because it’s tradition. Even though we’re pretty late…” He took Missy’s hand while carefully holding Kuye with the other one and asked: “Will you marry me?”

Missy blinked in confusion for a moment, then she smiled widely. “Yes, you idiot.”

The whole room seemed to explode when they kissed, students were screaming and applauding.

“My poor little girl…” Missy took the now crying Kuye in her arms and cradled her gently. “Should I blast them away with a laser gun?”

“Missy…”

“I’m just joking.” She rolled her eyes. “Were you serious about this?”

“Of course.”

“Good. I’ve always wanted to wear a wedding dress.” She gave him another kiss. “And please invite them. I like our little fan club.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tadaaa. No sad ending. I just couldn't do that to them. But I got ya, didn't I? xP  
> Anyways, thanks so much for reading and for the lovely comments! I hoped you liked the story.  
> ♥Lots of Love, Lucy

**Author's Note:**

> I was very insecure about this story and wanted to drop it, actually. But after giving it a few friends all of them liked it and told me to continue... so here we are. I hope you like it. xD  
> ♥Lots of Love, Lucy


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